Gone 2

Feels like I'm losing myself
Honestly I need somebody to help
Nobody helps
I'm living in hell
Feel like I'm locked and trapped inside a cell
I sit and I dwell
I scream and I yell
Hoping somebody can hear me but they all just fear me and I don't know what to do When I'm just all alone there is no one that is near me
Where
Do I just go
Imagine living in a house that's not home
I'm all alone
Feeling so low
Paying a thousand dollars for a phone
That nobody texts
I am a mess
Feel more together when I am depressed
I just confess
I could confess
But honestly I feel like I would impress
All my emotions that I have been holding
They're telling me I should just live in the moment
But what is a moment
When everyday that you get up and breathe you feel like you are just coping
With something that's never ever gonna notice
You'll never notice
All of the feelings that I trap inside of a door that is locked and I just keep on having to Close it
Love
Where is the love
Honestly I feel like this is too much
Nobody knows that I'm trapped in a rut
Taking a blade and I feel myself cut
Open my skin
Feels like a pin
Hate the fact that I have done this again
I'll make amends
I'll make amends
Depression's defeated me I'll never win

I'll never win I'll always lose
Why does it feel like that I have to choose
Between loving me and hating you
I don't know what else I'm suppose to do
I feel like that my sky is turning blue
Then you remind me that that isn't true
That isn't true everything's grey
I don't think the storm is going away
I feel the rain inside my heart
I remember living inside a car
While my moms across the country living with a man who's bank account is very large
Is this the end should I get revenge
Spilling my heart and my soul with this pen
They say it's pretend and I'm on the edge
I think that I'm going to jump off the ledge
Maybe I'll fall to the bottom the bottom is somewhere that I am just destined to be
Abandonment issues got me feeling like finding love is just something that isn't for me
It isn't for me there's no in between
I blame you for that happening to me
Relationships failing cause trauma I haven't been dealing with momma how come you Would leave
And not say goodbye
I sat there and cried
Was left in the dark I needed your light
You cannot define
Being a parent cause parents wouldn't leave a child behind
A child behind was left in the dark
I need your love I'm losing my spark
I need a hug when I fell apart
You wasn't there I'm feeling lost
A child behind was left in the dark
I need your love I'm losing my spark
I need a hug when I fell apart
You wasn't there I'm feeling lost
A child behind was left in the dark
I need your love I'm losing my spark
I need a hug when I fell apart
You wasn't there now I am gone