99 Problems

If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one

I've got the Rap Patrol on the - patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say, "He's Money, Cash -"
I'm from the hood, stupid, what type of facts are those?

If you grew up with holes in your Zapatos
You'd celebrate the minute you was havin' dough
I'm like, "- critics, you can kiss my whole -
If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast-forward"
Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
They don't play my hits, well, I don't give a sh-, so

Rap mags try and use my black -
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads
I don't know what you take me as
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches, -, I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

99 problems, but a b- ain't one
If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

The year is '94, in my trunk is raw
In my rearview mirror is the mother- law
Got two choices, y'all, pull over the car or (mm)
Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor
And I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case
So I pull over to the side of the road
I heard, "Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?"

"'Cause I'm young, and I'm black and my hat's real low?
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know
Am I under arrest, or should I guess some more?"
"Well, you was doing 55 in a 54 (uh-uh)
License and registration and step out of the car
Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are"
"I ain't steppin' out of sh-, all my paper's legit"
"Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"

"Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that"
"Aren't you sharp as a tack?
You some type of lawyer or something?
Somebody important or something?"
"I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my sh-"
"We'll see how smart you are when the K9 come"
I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

99 problems, but a b- ain't one
If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me (ah, ah)
99 problems, but a b- ain't one
If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

Now once upon a time not too long ago
A n- like myself had to strong-arm a h-
This is not a h- in the sense of havin' a p-
But a p- havin' no god- sense, try and push me
I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord
Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

And only thing that's gon' happen is I'ma get to clappin'
And he and his boys gon' be yappin' to the Captain
And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
Fiends on the floor, scratchin' again
Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin' 'em
D.A. try to give a n- shaft again
Half a mil' for bail 'cause I'm African

All because this fool was harassin' them
Tryin' to play the boy like he's saccharine
But ain't nothin' sweet 'bout how I hold my g-
I got 99 problems, bein' a b- ain't one, hit me!

99 problems, but a b- ain't one
If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me!

99 problems, but a b- ain't one
If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, but a b- ain't one, hit me! (Whoo! Whoo!)
Havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems, and a b- ain't one

You crazy for this one, Rick
It's your boy