Too Old (For This Shit)

I used to go out all the time
Jack and Jim are good friends of mine
Good golly, me and Ms Molly, we get together down a dirty back alley
Yes sir, well I was dealing in ... got the feeling that ... kinda lost the appeal
In the gutter
My mother didn't raise me to be a fool

Who's that guy sitting on my shoulder
Is that Beelzebub?
That strong lean party machine
And he comes with a dose of gretamine
It fells like as I get older, I know when to quit
I'm one day from retirement and I am way too old for this

Hey don't turn it up (I think I've got tinnitus)
No don't wanna get down (I've also got arthritis)
Don't put your hands in the air (nah don't you even try it, ah ah ah ah)
Or shake that derrière (man you know I'm on a diet, that's just insensitive man)
I don't wanna hear you scream (shh you'll wake the neighbours)
But I'm still living the dream (just enjoying different flavours)

I got nowhere better to be, nothing to do, or people to see
But I love you like family, so I'm give it to you honestly
I'd rather lay on my couch at home guessing who will die on Game of Thrones
(Man you used to be legit) I'm getting way too old for this (Shit)

I'm getting too old for this shit man

Hey don't turn it up (I think I've got tinnitus)
No don't wanna get down (I've also got arthritis)
Don't put your hands in the air (nah don't you even try it, ah ah ah ah)
Or shake that derrière (man you know I'm on a diet, that's just insensitive man)
I don't wanna hear you scream (shh you'll wake the neighbours)
But I'm still living the dream (just enjoying different flavours)

(Hey hey hey hey hey hey)
(Hey hey hey hey)
(Hey gimme that whiskey) Or a bottle of gin
I don't mind what mood you're in
We got it all, pick your poison
(How bout that cocaine) To numb the pain
Panadol, Adderall, Mary Jane
Five to Nine, Friday to Monday

So where you been my man, we're in a mischief
It's not the same without your odor in the club
So come and join us, forget your responsibilities, rest at ease, I would never do you harm
Oh yes it's me that guy upon your shoulder
Whispering sweet evil in your ears
Don't be a pussy, come out, first rounds my shout
You will know I will twist your rubber arm

Hey don't turn it up
No don't wanna get down
Don't put your hands in the air
Or shake that derrière
I don't wanna hear you scream
But I'm still living the dream