Missing You

It's only that I miss you, girl
I never wanna wait
It's seeming like we're distant, girl
You call, I'm on the way
You know I can't change this world
You say you wish I could
We just gotta be patient, girl
I promise that we're good
And it's been a while, been a while with
The same shit
Is it worth when we're working every day shift
I don't know, that's why i'm smoking just
To stay blitzed
All I know is it make me feel amazing
I just need a couple drinks, something basic
I just need to smoke a blunt to the face, shit
Drink another just to fall in bed and lay sick
I don't wanna wake tomorrow because
I hate this
Know I got my kid to make sure that I make it
Gotta see it through to see his graduation
Made a promise to his momma that I'd fake it
Why I show up every day and do the same shit
Three AM, missed your call, please
Don't hate me
Driving home, late at night, getting rainy
Cops pulling me over, doing eighty
Try to tell me pay a ticket, you can't make me
Tonight I gotta go, so I'll see you on
The road
Will I see you on the road
I just wanna look into each crowd at
All my shows
And see your face and know I'm home
Losing all my morals, throwing them away
Do you all so dirty, I'm lost in all my ways
I don't wanna catch up because what
Is there to say?
I never got better, been sick since I was eight
Tryna unpack like ten years of trauma
Maybe I should pick the phone up
Call my mama
Tell her that it's gon' be alright, no more drama
Tell her that her boy's growing up
Counting commas
I could never escape from what I'm
Running from
I could never look back to see
What I've become
I would never choose myself over my son
Wish that I could protect him from all the harm
But it gets so hard because he's growing
Every day
Always gonna wanna keep him close
And keep him safe
Haunts me knowing that that shit is
Never guaranteed
Holding onto hope he's got a better
Life than me
God, just let me be