Letter From Swazy

Bih my name swazy

Like John was standing in front of me, wrote this behind the wall
Thought they looked at me like chemo and wanted to see me ball
But like a tree with money leaves, they wanna see me fall
I was hurt like Jalen, but I won't let these tears run down my jaws
So I put them in a song
Signed a fucked up deal when I was a kid but now a nigga grown
Treated niggas like Christian Louboutin kicks, I tried to put em on
Like a motor no oil if I was selfish I prolly woulda blown
Twenty five hundred a show, but the price had went down
Less and less folks at my show, guess the hype had went down
Tryna expand my name and my brand but I don't know how to do it
I wouldn't listen to Bigga Rankin sometimes we got into it
You don't know how it feel yea
You don't know how it feel
To have you a record deal and people looking at you like you rich but you broke as a joke
Selling gas tryna make money but you smoking it though
My bitch had invested some money, we hoping it grow
Double it, triple it, flip it, how we hoping it go
Fuckin' up the profit time and time again
Ill look crazy as a bitch getting a job so Ima rhyme again
Knockin' down these projects like a demolition
Yellow black grey mixtapes but they still ain't listen
Knowing that I need some help, pride won't let me ask for it
Aiming at the nets, barely hittin the backboard
I lost some support from my city, that shit hurt me so bad
Stressing losing hair, rocking fitteds, it'll never grow back
I was still screaming free trigga when they called me a rat
I finessed the system and they made me look bad
Coulda got an Oscar the way I acted Denzel
Ten years later, same story, swear I didn't tell
Saying i don't give a fuck what people think
Same time giving a fuck what people think about me
Embarrassed at the spot that I was in, I was hiding it
Thankful that the big God was with me and was guiding me
Every time I wanna quit, somebody say that they admire me
Tamara said her daughter listen to me, it inspired me to keep going
I know I got a purpose
Everything i done been through, its gone be worth it
Sometimes I feel worthless
Sometimes I text my niggas, they don't text back it have me in my feelings
Sometimes I reminisce about my brother, wish that I was with him
Sometimes I don't even know how love feel, even though my girl give it
I think bout niggas who used to look up to me, they in competition
Saying that they fuck with me when it was time to show they didn't
My cousin gave a nigga a gun in front of me to kill me
My other cousin want some free features, he had more money than me
Niggas say they love me I felt they was tryna shine on me
My nigga boss had paid my bond and they ain't put a dime on it
Scam money was free but they ain't never put me down on it
My djs like my brothers I felt like they ain't play my music though
I felt they had the power to help me but they ain't use it though
My cousin producing for my other cousin, I can't get no beat
My engineer fucking with him cause of me shit made me grit my teeth
Had to think about it like a business, niggas gotta eat
One time I was like fuck y'all, hope you accept my apology
I felt like Slumb left me all alone my nigga
The shit that I was feeling was all wrong my nigga
Waking up every morning, hoping that this shit was make believe
The love that I had for my nigga Don, I couldn't make it leave
The love that I had for my nigga Don, I couldn't make it leave
Love that had for my nigga

My diary, I just published my diary
I just gave all the feelings I was ever ever feeling
Everything that I was dealing with inside of me
My diary, I just published my diary
I just gave all the feelings I was ever ever feeling
Everything that I was dealing with inside of me