A Little Unclear

There sure isn't a lot of clarity these days - I tell ya what
I've felt the fog growing thicker and thicker
And it multiplies as the days drag on
Disdain covers me like a haze that won't fizzle away
This all feels so dreary but so it goes

Depression manifests in many ways
And currently it's blurring my vision
So I'm parting the sea between brightness and me
Because the future is a little unclear right now
And I don't know what else I have left to offer

I know the offering likely will not be something of value
But I await it nonetheless
And yet I'm convinced I'm destined to settle
For something less than my worth

This is how desperate I've become
Any hope is a way to cope I suppose

I've been here before
A new medicine could ease this pain
But right now I'm trying to remember what it felt like to succeed
In the face of overwhelming doom and gloom

What this all comes down to is recognizing that we all struggle
The more we tell ourselves that we should always be happy
The worse it gets
And if others can't see that I'm not well to hell with them
Because I want to watch it all fall until it's dark
And while the clouds cover whatever brightness I once felt
I'm convinced I may never see the sun again

Any hope is a way to cope I suppose

Will I ever be half what I can be?
Can I ever be half what I can be?
Who's to say? Who's to say?

The reality is that I'm dying and I don't want anyone to know
Everything comes down to trying harder to fight the sad
That great big motherfucking sad that sucks me in
And teaches me all I need to know - about myself and my limits

Any hope is a way to cope I suppose
Any hope is a way to cope I suppose

I have grown more comfortable with my own hypocrisy
now that I've experienced the hypocrisy of others
It's unbeknownst to me when I will feel comfortable in my skin again

But I'm trying I'm trying - I promise I'm trying
It's the least I could do

I've made a number of promises to myself lately
And one of those is to give myself a chance
Even when I don't think I deserve it
That's probably a sign that I need it more
In that moment - than ever

It's the least I could do

Sometimes I climb out of bed in the morning and think
I'm not going to make it but I laugh inside
Remembering all the times I've felt that way