Jinx

I've spent my whole life living through others
And undermine my issues with fake lovers
But all that really helped me do was learn to fear trust
Then you came along and shattered my truth
And occupied my mind and time with new
Thoughts of you and I in a life I wish to live through
Because it's just you

I didn't wanna say anything
Because what it I jinx it
If I said I loved you then
What would you think and
I'm hoping that you feel the same
But I hoped in secret
Because what if I jinx it
I, I jinx it

I've been seeing all the signs but what if
I'm just trying to convince my mind that it's
Something more than self-deception, something I made up to
Hide all the delusion and save me
Because if you say you don't really feel the same things
Calling all this as I would is dangerous
Don't know what to do
I've never felt this before

So I didn't wanna say anything
Because what it I jinx it
If I said I loved you then
What would you think and
I'm hoping that you feel the same
But I hoped in secret
Because what if I jinx it
I, I jinx it
My greatest fear is speaking up
Then hearing silence
Knowing that I messed it up
Then trying to save it
I'm hoping that you feel the same
But I hoped in secret
Because what if I jinx it
I, I jinx it

I'm trying hard to release
Everything I've collected before this
But undoing an entire belief isn't the easiest thing
I'm trying hard to let go
Let you in, let you love me like I want
But I hope you feel the same

So don't blame me
If I don't say anything
Because what if I jinx it
If I said I loved you then
What would you think
I'm hoping that you feel the same
But I hoped in secret
Because what if I jinx it
I, I jinx it