Dear Body

Dear body

Dear body
I didn't start disconnecting cus' you weren't enough
When I would push my shoulders forward
And press my chest down with articles of clothing,
You were never too much. But you never belonged to me

I started dissociating, I cut off our
Relationship cus' it was easier to see the
Violence from the outside
I couldn't let the abuse happen to something
So connected to my being
I left you empty to let the process of healing
Be the job of someone else
I never hated you,
But I couldn't let you be a part of me
I couldn't stand the sound of life slowly
Drowning

Dear body,
It is so hard to see you without being
Swallowed by the memories
Of everything you've had to survive without me
I see it clearly;
How I let you be a punshing bag
Cus' my only other option would be to
Recognize that I was being hurt,
And I just wanted to be free

Dear body

Dear body
You weren't built to be anything else,
So I will let you be a body
And I will try to make us whole