All of the Above

I've been told I'm lazy, I've been told I'm crazy
I feel like I'm maybe all of the above
I've been called a waste, well never to my face, hell
I've been told I'm great and I'll never be enough

Yeah
I just woke up hoping that this would be a much better day
I just spent the morning up trying to learn how to meditate
Anything that could get me right back into this old better state
But that ain't working, maybe I just gotta go get away
No, that ain't it
No, that's not what I needed
Swear I knew this before so why do I keep on repeating?
Expecting different results, like something's going to change
Guess I did this to myself, I think I'm going insane

Ok, look
One side telling me to go all out
Other side telling me to stop
One side telling me to focus on the work and the job
Other side keep telling me 'nah'
Keep telling me I need a second just to breathe
Need a minute just to rest
But part of me telling me I cannot do that
I'll get all the sleep when I need when I'm dead

Feeling like I'm at the edge
Tiptoeing on the ledge
Quit throwing in the towel
That's now how I'm going out, right now, not yet
But I confess, I been upset
Every morning I been laying in bed
Scrolling through feeds knowing it means
Nothing to me, I'm not my best

I've been told I'm lazy, I've been told I'm crazy
I feel like I'm maybe all of the above
I've been called a waste, well never to my face, hell
I've been told I'm great and I'll never be enough
I heard I'm successful, I just let 'em guess though
They ask is it stressful doing what you love?
I feel like I'm still lost, maybe that's the real job
I pray that you're real, God and everything above

I was counting mistakes
Rounding up to be safe
Down and out, but like roundabouts
I went back around, now we straight
I went back around like 20 times
Or like 22, or like 29
Thought I cracked the code like a dozen times
Hope it pans out like it's sunny side

But I know all the circles have a role, ay
Flowers die when the showers dry
But that doesn't mean they didn't grow, ay
Even if it doesn't show, ay
Even if I never know, ay
I see stars in the darkest nights
So I'll find light in this whole thing

I've been told I'm lazy, I've been told I'm crazy
I feel like I'm maybe all of the above
I've been called a waste, well never to my face, hell
I've been told I'm great and I'll never be enough
I heard I'm successful, I just let 'em guess though
They ask is it stressful doing what you love?
I feel like I'm still lost, maybe that's the real job
I pray that you're real, God and everything above