More of a Curse

Im back and I'm better, maybe thats a lie though
Eyes higher than fire smoke, sense of that hydro
Momma told me never cry over the spilt coffee
Spoilt to a tea, don't be soft like mochi
Had to get my passion back, I'm trying more than ever
Ex assaulting me, my skin was made of leather
Padded down, everyone waiting till all the facts was out

Back against the wall, rope a dope never smacked her out
Family telling me, she may not be trusted
I convinced myself that I loved her
Evil intentions in her heart, they where never seen
She'd tell me to fight back, i was telling her stop the screams
Then she broke furniture in the apartment
Neighbours knocking on door, shes too embarrassed to say pardon
Im a sitting duck, its bad, it'll be all-good
Till she spoke ill of my mother, that it left me so shook

I was reading alot, had no books
Started seeing behaviour that wasn't very noble
Stones werent matching, topaz and opal
Depth of field missing, still seeking for the focal

Now I'm crying in balcony, sitting in the corner
She'd come and cry with me, bringing me some water
I wanted to feel better, remembering all the flowers
That I purchased, high school crush more of a curse
Made love of several, it started loosing the purpose
Two court dates and both of them had us nervous
I wasn't gonna take her on the three hour drive
Till She said she needed me that was on her life
And I believed it, so many secrets
So many evenings alone, so many reasons, im home
Only 6 months in, already beefing, oh no
Then we sleeping together
Sharing heat in the winter, cold world warm blessings

Still It haunts me, nights that I would wake
She talking to spirits covering mirrors no faith
It still haunts me the times I tried to leave
Knife to her leg, yelling at me go be free

Thinking that I'm in-love, that ain't even the worst of it
Going to my day job, black eye peas ain't working it
Scratches on my forearms, bruises on my chest
By then a few knew, they all told me to confess
Driving to the station, stomach tightens worse than my first gig
Ended up going home, my breathing not perfect
Key through the door, as I walk in I see her
I say I couldn't breathe, she still talking about me leaving

Felt numb behind my ears, tasted salt from my tears
She call the ambulance, they asking if I'm here
First time in 5 months, my head was clear
Felt death come near, that night my vision reappeared
Allah told me that my heaven is earth
I was always moving forward but I never ever learnt
Better days ahead of me, I didn't know whats next for me
Person I trusted the most, almost brought death to me

Azrael will meet me, the day Allah is selecting me
Estagfirullah my gunahs got the best of me
Buried my cousin last week, that ain't even a lesson g
Thats just god testing me, For years the hate was festering
Messed up my trajectory, will they ever remember me
Take me back exemplary, times show me whats set for me
Home and my family, crash landing calamity
Vanity of handling my damaged heart its vanishing
Epilepsy thoughts, Camera flashes are bad for me
So many bars I rap, none of them will matter me
Not fit for my anatomy, chatter this
Bitch got the man in me, on hold
Fuck around and lost my soul
Walking the tightest rope
Cause my eyes never died
But my heights went low
I divide all my pride, with the slightest slope
And my eyes never died, my heights went low
I divide all my pride with the slightest slope

Cuz the moral of the story, story with no morals
Searching for a real one, found an imposter
Ah ah ah
Borrowed all my glory, ignoring all her calls
Treat her like a queen, even tho I couldn't trust her
Even though I couldn't trust her
And I found an imposter uh
Found an imposter
Even though I couldn't trust her