Six Months Out

I wrote you a letter that I'll never give to you
But don't get it twisted and think I care more than I do
I'm surprised that I don't already have your number blocked
But I could delete it and it would feel like the same thing

'Cause it's not like you're gonna text me
And I don't want your name spelled out
I could probably get away with this, in fact, I
Think I'll do it now
I'll just wipe you out and pretend that
Something's changed when I know damn well
You've been gone
Like six months now

It's easy to assign the blame
And say that it's not okay
The way that you treated me
But I guess it's a two-way street
Insidious shortcomings
I saw the debris falling
From here
All the way from here

I wanted to love you like
The rain fell that Thursday night
But you barely tried to fight
To put me back in your life
If you're happier without all my love
Then I guess we're better off

Turning twenty just felt mellow, even though it shouldn't be
I had plenty to be grateful for, I wish I was happy
But the bitterness of how things went down
Is all I tasted in my champagne
That mostly went to waste

And I wish that I could be someone
You'd come down for at twenty-one
But you'd rather not look back at
This place that you grew up
I think all of your worst memories
Are associated with me
What a shitty epiphany
What a shitty epiphany

It's easy to assign the blame
And say that it's not okay
The way that you treated me
But I guess it's a two-way street
Insidious shortcomings
I saw the debris falling
From here
All the way from here

I've realized I barely know
The person you've come to be
And someday, I think that that
Will be okay with me
The grief is fresh in my heart
But someday, it won't mean anything

I wrote you a letter that I'll never give to you
And chances are, you'd care enough to have written me one too
But I guess we'll never really know the truth
I have to live
Knowing that I lived
Never really knowing you