The Subsequent Decline of Breathable Air

Don't squint your eyes
Don't look too far behind
It's hiding in your eyelashes
Blind shut shadow back lit
Wind kiss makes my lips split
A reminder I haven't let the dog back in yet
I really must do that he must be getting quite chilly out there
The boiler is broken again so I light a campfire in the kitchen
Someone is not going to be happy about that
I stare at the dishes and realize that they're getting out of hand again
A midnight handshake and the uncomfortable feeling
Of what might be in the back pocket of the rucksack
Or the apple that fell down the back of the bed
Feet sink into the concrete, still wet, not cool

I know, I know, I know

You've been tryna meet me
You've been tryna find me
You've been tryna hunt me
I just don't have the time
You've been tryna kiss me
You've been tryna spite me
You've been tryna love me
I just don't have the spine
You've been tryna meet me
You've been tryna find me
You've been tryna hunt me
I just don't have the time
You've been tryna kiss me
You've been tryna spite me
You've been tryna love me
I just don't have the

Sticking the knife to the fire alarm
Becomes a mildly comforting morning routine
As the days stack up the nights are filled with a familiar hum
It's a nice distraction from the rapidly increasing altitude of the shepherd
And the subsequent decline of breathable air
What's left sticks to insides of lungs
Toffee pudding, or tar
Sorry did I forget your name?
The submarine lights flash red
A can of coke trapped between David's fingers
Screaming and silence are one and the same to your ears
You should've got those earplugs earlier

I feel, you twirl, my hair, with your, fingers
I cry, I smile, I die

Sometimes I get really drunk and I aim for autopilot
It's nice to lean back and see where my reptilian brain takes me
Sometimes a tree, often a kebab shop, but
What I really desire is the next day
The reset
There is nothing in the world that gives more perspective
Then a ragingly self induced headache
Terrible breath
A membrane of sweat and smoke melted away in the shower
Along with petty worries like who am I? Where am I going?
Well today I'm going to the kitchen
And I'm stretching my culinary fingers
By putting a frozen pizza in the oven
Today I'm sinking into the sofa
Or I'm scrolling my way into a social media induced coma
Because actually I'm ill so it's allowed
A hangover is a simple problem with a simple solution
Existing is enough, no questions needed
Every hour is a step out of the fog
But with each step things become too clear
Sticky insignificance attaches itself to the ends of my fingers
And makes its way up my limbs seeping into my eyes
Desperate for a residential spot in the frontal lobe
I scrape away at it
But like quick sand the more I move
The more I'm trapped under its immense weight
So instead I ignore it
Don't talk, don't listen, just play dumb
It's no big deal unless you make it one
I cut myself off from the world by pretending I'm ignorant of it's pitfalls
In actual fact the world is ignorant of me
How can it know which of it's crevices I've tripped down
Which hills are too steep to climb
I get on my knees and I pray and I tell whoever it is that I'm talking to
That I'm not the boy who cried wolf
And yet there is a whisper in my head telling me that I am
I bury these thoughts by moving
A train is a room with a view which changes each time you look out the window
And I like that but I can see dirty finger nails clinging on for dear life in the corners
It will be an emotional reunion at the station, that I can be sure of
The beauty in meaningless is undeniably linked to it's incomprehensible anxiety
And anxiety which follows me around desperate to be looked at in the eyes
And told that it's a feeling as valid as the rest
But I'm sorry, I just can't do that, and I know you're there
A lonely child facing the wall for speaking out of turn
A hand raised but never picked
A voice stopped mid sentence
No grand plan but
I know

You've been tryna meet me
You've been tryna find me
You've been tryna hunt me
I just don't have the time
You've been tryna kiss me
You've been tryna spite me
You've been tryna love me
I just don't have the spine
You've been tryna meet me
You've been tryna find me
You've been tryna hunt me
I just don't have the time
You've been tryna kiss me
You've been tryna spite me
You've been tryna love me
I just don't have the spine
I just don't have the time
I just don't have the spine
I just don't have the spine
I just don't have the time
I just don't have the