She Forgot That I Existed

As you promised me that I was more than all the miles combined
You must have had yourself a change of heart
Like halfway through the drive
'Cause your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign
Kept on driving straight and left our future to the right
Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face
And memories of something even smoking weed does not replace
And I am terrified of weather, 'cause I see you when it rains
Doc told me to travel, but there's COVID on the planes (yeah, ayy)

Running through sticks
Cut off my friends as I'm caught in the mix
Hoping for blessings but only get problems
Whenever I called, she left me drunk-dialed, ay, yeah
You were the hole in my heart
That I needed filled for all of my life
Remember the talks by the fire
Where we would feel happy every night

All these plans that we had, yeah
Making me feel like I was the man
Now I'm not
I'm just her ex who was too dumb
Let go of her hand
Waitin' for you by the river
Though we were just kids, won't take no one else here
'Cause you are my forever girl
Nothing compares to the way that I loved her

So I thought that if I found something good in all my bad
That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad
No, I am no longer funny
'Cause I miss the way you laugh
Once called me "Forever," now you still can't call me back

I thought if I tried hard enough
Yeah, you'd really come back
Pacing my room whenever you'd text me
Like I'm insane, gonna relapse
Needed the happiness felt when we're young
All the emotions never was wrong
Swallow the sorrow I felt moving on
The love that we built on top of this song

Times that you hugged me in the middle of chaos
Breathing together, two birds in a nest
Made it through life with you by my side
And all of the times you were my best friend
Losing myself to the touch her skin
'Cause I gave my heart to the person within
The summer was great, but everything ends
I'll write you more songs, send you letters again

Hey guys, I'm gonna say something
This is from the bottom of my heart, man
I think you're lucky if you come one time in your life to find the one
I think if you fuck it up, you'll never find that one again
You might go the rest of your life wondering
"Was that the one? Did I miss her?"
You know why I'm proud of you, Xan?
You know why I love you so fucking much?
It's because when something's right there in front of you
You go after and get it