Dissimulation

Now that I've opened up my eyes
I spin my wheels wondering if I'll ever find my rest
While wondering if I deserve the best
Should I give up all that is left of me?
I continue to throw away my days
If lying always seems to make this stay
At what cost would I pay to find the strength to change?

I continue to throw away my days and lie to make this stay
A way that no longer makes sense to me
Why am I falling down?

I cry for everyone else's help but their heads were turned
Burning every last shred of me down cause it's what you want
I just smile and say your wish is my command
Then I fake myself to fulfill your every demand
I push myself aside, it's all I've ever known
If this is what I want, why can't I stop running?
Running in shame clinging tightly to a realm
So far away crowded with all these things I strive for
I watch as my life slowly starts to spin out of control
I cry for help because I feel my soul is getting cold

I continue to throw away my days and lie to make this stay
A way that no longer makes sense to me
Why am I falling down?

I can't turn back now, there's too much at stake
Am I stuck wondering why?
Watching this world pass me by
Is this how it ends?

No, this won't be where I lay my head down to die
So numb on the inside, content to watch this world burn
No, this won't be where I lay my head down to die
I'm so lost on the inside, can anyone save me?

I continue to throw away my days and lie to make this stay
A way that no longer makes sense to me
Why am I falling down?
(Why am I)
(Why am I)
(Why am I)