That’s On Me

Is this just getting older?
I can't get away from this rain
I'm starting to think that it's me, and
I wanna just create things
But the longer it takes, I feel drained

Can't remember a day I've been sober
Not in a place to take blame
Any more weight, I might break
Tell me, do you feel the same?
Guess we all go the same way

I'm in a bit of a mess here
Count to ten and hope to disappear

I never did my homework
Could I have been more than this?
Finding a way to exist
Within a world with no risk
Forcing a shoe that won't fit

I spend most the day stoned and
Making excuses for it
Saying it helped to write this
But, on the real, I'm tight-lipped
Shooting a shot that I'll miss

And it's so far from near
Why the hell am I still here?

This is not the end of our lives
This is just a bump in the ride
And I know that it will be alright
And if it's not, then we're fucked, aren't we?
I can't help myself but cry
Every time that I realise
Maybe I'll never find my smile
But who's to blame? Well, that's on me

Well, that's on me
Well, that's on me

Now that the weather is colder
Nothing is masking this pain
The summer was here, but won't stay, and
We are inside, like, all day
Regretting the things that we say

And it takes a toll, yeah
The conversation won't end
Being a rock for your friends
Cracks in the surface don't mend
We only break, we don't bend

And you'd think it was so clear
But I can't see nothing but the fear

I'm feeling so bloated
Thinking a salad won't do
Might as well open up two
Locking myself in my room
Hoping that this all ends soon

And no one will notice
What I will put myself through
'Cause they will hate themselves too
Isn't it mad what we do?
Pretending to win, but just lose

And it's so far from near
Why the hell am I still here?

This is not the end of our lives
This is just a bump in the ride
And I know that it will be alright
If it's not, then we're fucked, aren't we?
I can't help myself but cry
Every time that I realise
Maybe I'll never find my smile
But who's to blame? Well, that's on me

Well, that's on me
Well, that's on me

Too many things on my mind
To process moments of life
That some days I lose my drive
And some can't control the fire
I'm aware that things take time
But I'm not a patient guy
Maybe if I wait, I'll find
Resemblance of peace of mind

But this is just getting older
Running away from our past
Knowing the calm, it won't last
Being a mouse in this grass
Feeling the snakes behind us, and

I'm searching for closure
But nothing is healing these scars
When I open up, they just laugh
Saying if they had just half
Then nothing would ever be dark

Is it "new me, new year"
Or just the same old blue sphere?

This is not the end of our lives
This is just a bump in the ride
And I know that it will be alright
If it's not, then we're fucked, aren't we?
I can't help myself but cry
Every time that I realise
Maybe I'll never find my smile
But who's to blame? Well, that's on me

Well, that's on me
Well, that's on me
Well, that's on me