Ms. Kelly's Tapes (feat. Victoria Huston-Elem)

They laugh and shout
They kick their stones
Their vicious murmur
Crawls through my bones. And yet

I fix my smile a warm expression
I dry my palm 'n clench my fist
Walk through their woods, utmost discretion
I follow footpaths they'll have missed
Oh, I think I got away-this time
So today will be a good day. Oh, my

I draw the blinds, lock double bolted
Make dinner, stomach sick 'n sore
I drink too much so l'm not jolted
When all their stones start at my door
Oh, I want to go away tonight
Fall asleep 'n pray I won't see the light

But I fight. I hear the whippoorwill sing its tune
I smell the night: so crisp 'n clean
I wrap myself in a cocoon
And think of happy days I've seen
Of endless green
Where Heaven's mercy fills my breast
And my heart may find its rest

When I awake, the tapes start playin'
The loops my mind repeats on cue
And though I know it's lies they're sayin'
I tremble, for what if they're true?
God, please tell me something I can do?

I leave, 'n their attacks are brutal
I stay alone, 'n shake in fear
I numb it all, fer hope is futile
I cry 'n no one dries a tear
Year after year, this shame wrecks 'n rots my soul
When God's made clear "their monster" is to be my only role
May death come here
May the ocean swell and swallow me up whole!

And so, ya ask me how I bear it?
Truth is, dear, I don't think I do
Ya suffer, too. That much, we share it
But there's a greater plan fer you
Face them
Make 'em see
Find yer hope
And you may find hope enough fer me