The Future Never Happened

Ah, shit, I'm gonna get that
Then I'm gonna do this
Then I'm startin' up a business
Now let me tell it to ya in plain English

This another thing that I'll never fuckin' finish
I love music, in fact, I bought a mic and a beat
But goddamn, I hope I kept that receipt
Cause YouTube saw 2 uploads before I hit delete

I think I'm goin' off the rails like a crashed train
Tellin' the doc I ain't crazy, I'm just insane
Cause I severed the main vein that goes straight
To my damn brain can't think straight

I'm hungry for success, but it feels like I just ate
I'm full up, lookin' where I wanna go
So I gotta look up, I can't move
Got no fuckin' energy

One day we'll all just be a motherfuckin' memory
Who the fuck cares, got a lot of provin' to do
Plans with my mans, can't say no, it would be rude to
A comfortable life, stabbin me just like voodoo

Another day wasted, another day no success tasted
Maybe I could run away and get naked
Smoke trees and get faded
Hopin' that the planet gets invaded

So the work I gotta wanna do can be evaded
End of school, kicked open the door
Left college for dead, said I'd hit the floor
Instead, I just fell to the floor

Cryin' cause I wanted more, another excuse
Thought they was a screw loose
But I'm tryna kick old habits like I'm Bruce
Everything I touch, I fuckin' bruise

Tired of sayin' give me time
Tired of sayin' I can rhyme
Tired of waitin' for my prime
Tired of waitin' for some motherfuckin' sign

Four years of talkin', I ain't made a fuckin' dime
Every time my girl asks, I'm like, nah, I'm fine
Motivation dyin', what the fuck happened to my drive
Must've crashed, sorry to my younger

But I swore I got a puncture, I wouldn't retire
I was put here to inspire, gotta feel alive
But if I won't drive, gotta call the front desk to inquire
Put on hold, call back in five days is what I'm told

Thankful, I don't need to take no fuckin' action
Roll over in the bed grab my phone as a distraction
All of that is just a fraction
Mind is fucked like a dick in my brain

That's why I chose the rap game better quit before
I end your reign, gotta stop, I'm in pain
Cause my voice about to strain

My friends talkin' shit like we gotta move quick, right
No time left to be a kid, right
But growin' up is just a myth
And this music thing, I'll never give up
Till we complete, Europe

But then my eyes open, social welfare line
Ladies like "Cian, you're up"
112 in an envelope, eyes are like a microscope
Used to be a telescope, lookin' high at the sky

Dreamin' bout the planets I would fly by
Passin' aliens and sayin' hi
Knowin' that we'll never meet again
Like vegans, never stressed

Cause my cross keeps away the demons
But my mind changes just like seasons
Your confidence, it weakens
Now you're suicidal cause the new guy just outrapped your idol

See, I just wanna have fun with this shit
Don't wanna grow up yet
I just wanna jump around the stage with no top on
Covered in sweat, fingers up

Not givin' a fuck till my last breath
Death, just the beginning
I'm like a sniper, baby, I play the long game
With an aim that'll put Deadpools to shame