Al & Margaret (feat. Eddie Pepitone & Robbie Seahag Mangano)

My name is Al
My name is Margaret
They're a couple that live inside my head
Al and Margaret

Margaret
I'm right here, Al
Margaret is my baby
We live in New Hampshire somewhere

No, we don't, Al, we live in this guy's head
Come on, Margaret
You know we have a house in New Hampshire
Al, we're figments of this gentleman's imagination

Bullshit, Margaret
We have a real relationship
Al, you know that
We are just a figment of Eddie Pepitone's mind

Don't bullshit me
You're real, Margaret
Yeah, but listen
I sound just like you

Except higher-pitched
Come on, baby, we've had two children
We live in New Hampshire
Al, we are just one person inside this guy's head

No, no, no, no, Margaret
Yes, yes, yes, yes, Al
No, no, no, no, Margaret
Yes, yes, yes, yes, Al

No, Margaret, tell me it ain't so
Tell me you're real
Oh, Al, I love you
But we're just two different parts of Eddie

Don't tell me that, baby
You're my baby
You're my Maggie
I had a dream

Where you were wearing something skimpy
Oh, Al
If you were just a figment of Eddie Pepitone
Would you have such a nice ass

Oh, God, Al, thank you
I think you're the bee's knees
Oh, Al, I love when you use dated references
I think you're crazier than me

Oh, Margaret, I wanna get electroshock therapy with you
Oh, Al, I love when you talk about the mental institution
Don't go Shudder Island on me, Margaret
I won't

Don't go Shudder Island on me, Margaret
That was a pretty good movie
Hey, Margaret, you are not just half of Eddie Pepitone's
Duo of people that live inside his head

You're my baby
We met in high school in New Hampshire
No, we didn't, Al
I don't even know where New Hampshire is

Why do you always challenge my reality
Why do you always challenge my version of the truth
Because you live in a fantasy, Al
You live in a fantasy, Al

Eddie is a schizophrenic
And we are both sides of his schizophrenia
Oh, Margaret, you're a liar
I am not

Yes, you are
I am not
Margaret, we have a brick house in New Hampshire
Both our children are

Hot doctors
Hot doctors
Hot doctors
Hot doctors

Al, you're fucking crazy
You are just a voice
A disembodied voice
Of Eddie Pepitone

No, I'm not
I am married to you
You have a scar on your upper thigh
I don't have a thigh

You have a scar on your cheek
I am a voice
I don't exist except inside Eddie's head
I love it when you scream

Margaret, you're the best wife
A disembodied voice can have
You're the best wife
A disembodied voice can have

If you're unreal
If you're just a fantasy
I'm still happy with you
Oh, Al

Let's just live in this fantasy
I mean, we don't have to pay taxes in this world
I don't pay taxes
Because I'm a fantasy

We have two hot children
They're hot doctors right now
That's right, baby
Hey Al, let's make love tonight

I'll tell you something, Margaret
For a disembodied voice
You are one little hot vixen
Oh, Al

I think I'm gonna go freshen up
What are you gonna do
I'm gonna go crazy
I'm gonna go crazy

I know there's no one
Named Al and Margaret
Al & Margaret are creations of mine
That I use to avoid

The reality of this harsh world
This harsh, harsh world
I've created two people to live in
There's no health care for people

There's no real employment
There's violence all over the world
We are ruled by greed
So I've created two people

That live inside of me
They buffer me from a little thing
Called reality
They buffer me from a little thing

Called reality
Don't say that, we're alive
That's right, we are alive, Margaret
Don't let him say that we're just

Two things he created to avoid reality
Baby, I'm trying to tell you
We are individuals
I mean, we gotta convince this guy that we're real

He thinks we're just figments
Oh, Al, let's just run away together
Before he gets treatment
Let's run away together before he gets treatment

Margaret, start the car
Let's get the fuck out of here before
He goes to the psychiatric hospital
And gets electric shock treatment

Touch me, touch me