Addicts (for Hanieh)

You couldn't leave it all inside yourself
Ugh

You couldn't leave it all inside yourself
You couldn't leave it all inside

It was hard at first
When we broke it off
And I kept it all alive

And the things you'd said
And the you'd done
They were ripping up my insides

No it wasn't love
It was just co-dependency
Running on high

And no matter what I did
And no matter what you said
And no matter when we fucked

There are I things I can't deny
There were times when we died
And we didn't come back to life

No it wasn't love
It was just a need for therapy
Running on high

Yet I was in love with you?
Yes I deeply love you?

Still inside my soul
I know there's a reason why

We learn to break our bones in half
We were never shown any other way

We were hardcore
Confused
We refused
To be led
By all the shit that came to the fore

I should have given you a ride
You could have given me a lift
To the other side

I'm sorry if this all sounds harsh
It might come off as a lot
It might come off as too much

But we shouldn't have kept it all
In our tiny cell

It was love for a while
Or I told you to
Or you told me to hold on

And the things we saw
And the things we felt
Then showed us our worst sides

Yeah it might been love
Or a long lasting fantasy
Keeping us alive

And no matter what you did
And matter what I said
And no matter who we fucked

There are things I won't forget
Nights on end I felt dead
But I wanted to come back to life

Yes there was love
And needless pain and suffering
To buy an addict some time
To buy an addict like me some time

And I really love you and I do forgive you
But I want to understand
Why we learn that love
Will make us whole
And carefree in the end

I meant to break my life instead
I was never shown any other way