New Beginnings

Yeah, this my, this my, this my
So, so many dark nights
Wow, so many dark nights
(Thank you for being here tonight)

So many dark nights
Begging for forgiveness
Cause my sin was sickening and worsening
Wondering when it'll stop hindering my worshipping
Lurking temptations
Nonstop thoughts are wandering off into an exodus
Searching for where the exit is
Dreams of copping necklaces and Lexuses
But I'm stuck on where my soul is
Felt like I lost it back in 06 or 16
Damaging my spleen
All sorts of things, open doors to think
I should've thought this through
I should've repented then too
I'm still repenting now at 22
Should've wiped my tears, boo-hoo
Them demons lurking behind the pews
I'm barely awake, sipping on that brew
Hoping the pastor will say
In Jesus name your bondage is through

Your bondage is through
As he threw away his cup
I couldn't help but notice stuff like
Why'd it run dry
Is it cause of I
My family, my spies
My grandma really died
And I had a chance to prepare
But it still caught me by surprise
What am I on this earth for
Can't help but think I'm worth more
Than selling myself to the workforce
Or serving under leaders
Who value numbers over the word
Or gathering them plaques and awards
Get a couple stacks and a house
With no landlord
Get some exotic whips and a horse

You mean a Porsche
All the things I chased
Just left me feeling more void
Worthless toys
Recuerda me quien soy
Hija de Dios
I earned my spots like a koi
Cause clout chasing is like a disease
And I ain't recovered yet
So here I stand at the altar
Or lay in bed way after church service
Wondering if I'll die of cancer
Instead of praying
Maybe I'll nap first
I'm yearning for living water
I got an itch

No, I'm thirsty
Down highway 90 going 40
Heading to the Bucees, for an ICEE
Always running
Freezing my pain
Escaping my brain
I want change
Yet I hate it
Being famous is overrated
I'm too complacent
Codependent
Never listen
Possibly addicted
Am I Christian
I don't depict it
Unless I'm livid
My true colors, are not in my pigment
We are His children
One nation under God
Until they kill them
Kill them
When Jesus comes back, I know my fight is finished

I'm painting a vivid image
My prescription to cure my self inflicted sickness
Is to pray more
Even when my actions state different
I need to pray more
I got a mission
This my new beginning
This my new beginning

I remember thinking I was sinking in depression
Even Jesus couldn't pull me out of this
I was reading the Bible
Hearing some preachings
But I wasn't really listening
So I stayed in that hole for a while
Not realizing how
Through the storm
God still made a miracle come out