Birthdays & Funerals

There's so many birthdays
And so many funerals
I never know whether to celebrate
Or count the dead on Roman numerals
And everybody is being friendly
But everybody is talking through their teeth
And their eyes are falling on me
Like a spotlight on a thief

There's so many birthdays
And so many funerals
I'm pissing away the days
Like I'm standing at a urinal
I took out my moral compass
To find out where we stood
The needle just kept spinning round and round
I guess it wasn't any good

And maybe there really isn't much difference
Between a wedding and a wake
And maybe there really isn't much difference
Between a real blonde and a fake

There's so many birthdays
And so many funerals
If less is more like they say
Well I'll have one more of the usual
And the Devil he walked into a bar
And pulled up a seat next to God
The Devil said "Man, some people aren't so easy to fool"
The Lord said "Yeah, but some so easily are"

And maybe there really isn't much difference
Between a prayer and a curse
And maybe there really isn't much difference
Between a limousine and a hearse