Asian Chicken Salad (feat. Cole Connor)

Oh my god, why do you have so much salad in your shopping cart
Save some for someone else
Oh wait, are you bleeding
Have you seen my finger

I used to live smack in the middle of Seattle
By that I mean where you buy smack
During COVID I moved to where you buy cattle
And the Asian population, I doubled that

2 out of 10,000 people I'm the 1%
Me too, I make the best Thai out of 100 men
My mama runs the only Thai spot you could fall for
That's like me, running a big-n-tall store

Now you gotta come through, show us how you make Thai please
I don't know either, Cole, I'm Chinese
I'm so sorry, I'm embarrassed
Tomorrow we're having a potluck at my parents

You should come, I'm making grits and scallops
You could make an Asian chicken salad
Don't tell, I had to google that shit y'all
In Asia, we don't have no shit like that

Maybe I can make some noodles and fish sauce
Oh, I know the bitch I'll ask
Siri, what is an Asian chicken salad

How do you make it, how do you make it
Cabbage, chopped, veggies, chopped, chicken, chopped
How do you make it, how do you make it
Cabbage, chopped, veggies, chopped, chicken, chopped
How do you make it, how do you make it
Cabbage, chopped, veggies, chopped, chicken, chopped
How do you make it, how do you make it
Cabbage, chopped, veggies, chopped, chicken, chopped

I had to impress my neighbors, but I lost hope
Till I found my local Asian store, Costco
Don't worry, I put it in a bamboo bowl
Oh my god, this salad is rock and roll
Better than Costco, is it a family recipe

I was shocked, so I bowed and let it be
And the room got quiet
And everybody bowed back in silence
Honestly, we could use this at the restaurant
I mean, Bernice, at this point, we're desperate
I was still thinking how good it felt to be bowed to
By a room full of white people in brown shoes

So let's buy a bunch of salad from Costco
Sell it from my Thai spot
For twice the price we got
A family recipe
Kirkland Family Recipe

How do you make it, how do you make it
Cabbage, chopped, veggies, chopped, chicken, chopped
How do you make it, how do you make it
Cabbage, chopped, veggies, chopped, chicken, chopped
How do you make it, how do you make it
Cabbage, chopped, veggies, chopped, chicken, chopped
How do you make it, how do you make it
Cabbage, chopped, veggies, chopped, chicken, chopped