Now I Know

I swear, it's funny how it goes
Looking back with all I know
I'd still relive every low
'Came essential to my growth, but
Tell me that back when I was at my lowest
Wouldn't hear it, I was empty, I was soulless
Yeah, life was dim, I was trapped in my mind
Was lonely all the time, and my thoughts were not kind
Just stuck on rewind, obsessed with passed time
I left behind

I used to feel jaded, I used be gated
I used to be faded all god-damn day
I used be hating the man in the mirror
Felt nothing but fear, shame, disgust for me
I was battling demons inside my mind 'cause my shadow contained my pain
Was constraining my inner child, no affection that could remain
A perfection I can't obtain and connections I can't maintain
Just reflections while looking at who I became

But I used to get faded every day to cope
I was high and sedated, didn't have no hope
Always lonely and hated by myself so low, low, low, low
But now I know
That this life is game, yeah, it is all a joke
You don't live it you play it, take control and go
Give a fuck if you hate me, I don't care no more, no more, oh
Now I know, oh, oh, oh

Life be different nowadays
I don't care what they be thinking
I don't care about their praise
I ain't crippled by anxiety
Depressed and hating me
I ain't tripping when it's grey
I just wake up and I play (ok)

Now when they hate on me
It don't be facing me
Be motivating me
Feel like they be praising me
It validate me
Knowing that they hate me
Show me what I'm making got them fearing for their safety

I'm just feeling grateful I made it to where I'm at
Ain't forgotten where I came from, I'm dying 'fore turning back
I was haunted by my shadow, my soul was darker than black
Thought my value was determined by others and what I lack
Now I know that I am worth it, my mental became my wealth
It's okay if I ain't perfect, don't need to be someone else
Went from lonely, suicidal, not caring about my health
To somebody that can say "I love myself"

But I used to get faded every day to cope
I was high and sedated, didn't have no hope
Always lonely and hated by myself so low, low, low, low
But now I know
That this life is game, yeah, it is all a joke
You don't live it you play it, take control and go
Give a fuck if you hate me, I don't care no more, no more, oh
Now I know, oh, oh, oh

Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ooh-ah

I used to get faded every day to cope
I was high and sedated, didn't have no hope
Always lonely and hated by myself so low, low, low, low
But now I know
That this life is game, yeah it is all a joke
You don't live it you play it, take control and go
Give a fuck if you hate me, I don't care no more, no more, oh
Now I know, oh, oh, oh