L.N.P.

I'm knocking on your door wait
I should prolly stay away
Don't know why I'm here of if I should even try to say
What I really feel
They say the worst that can be said is no
But I don't think so, trust me I know
Enter into the mind of an anxious kid
Vividly replaying memories
Picking at all the little things I could've done differently
Hitting me
Wanna make me bleed
For saying the wrong thing in a situation I didn't foresee

All the thoughts in my head wanted me dead when I was kid
Tellin me everything is wrong and my family would be gone
The minute I dropped my guard

All the thoughts in my head wanted me dead when I was kid
Tellin me everything is wrong and my family would be gone
The minute I dropped my guard

The minute I drop my guard
Is the minute it all goes wrong
The minute my mind is lost
And the minute I shut it off
It all hits the fan so quick
It's shredded to mist
Sticks to my skin
Like somethin on the tip
Of the tongue
Or on the shoe like gum
An inconvenience in the moment
In the next it's gone
Like feelings fleeing from me in my fog
Ugh
Wish I didn't have to open up or bloom like a lecanorchis
I'm on the floor with my biz
Winnin the argument In my head
But knowing irl I'd break down or be dead
I can't even fathom, imagine how to show confidence it's a chasm
A divide between my body and mind and I'm running out of time
Runnin out my mind
Runnin out of patience
To deal with the stupid signs that plague me like a lime in the eye
Take a line just to die
For a little while so I can escape life

All the thoughts in my head wanted me dead when I was kid
Tellin me everything is wrong and my family would be gone
The minute I dropped my guard

All the thoughts in my head wanted me dead when I was kid
Tellin me everything is wrong and my family would be gone
The minute I dropped my guard