Candy
There was a time
I thought I had completely lost it
I was sitting in my room
With a razor blade in my pocket
A shiny destructive object
I pushed it into my palm
And started cutting on my arm
Until the blood was dripping off him
Ok
Well, that's an issue
Scar tissue is stickin' with you
You can lie to your family
And tell them that it's just the misuse
Of a burner at work
But see, reality hurts
You can cover up depression
With a smile and a shirt
Cover up the fact there's
Not a smile in your eyes
With a brand-new pair of Ray Bans
A perfect disguise
Nobody has to know that
Every day you want to die
And you're so good at making plans
You plan the end of your life
So, I
Called my ex-fiancé on the phone that night
She said
I've been there, believe me
I'm no stranger to that life
How'd you do it? Did you at least
Sanitize that knife
I said
I'm sorry, I'm embarrassed, I can't handle this life
Baby, clean yourself up
No reason to be ashamed
I know your fucked up, it's ok
'Cause imma love you through the pain
And then I passed out in the bloody sheets
Staring at her face
I'm ok
I'm not ok
'Cause
I was drinking liquor
For like 4-5 days
Switch to benzos
For like 4-5 days
Well ok
Went to tramadol
I'm taking over 10 each day
Passin' out up on the couch
For like 3 whole days
I Went comatose
So, Lord Please pray
I got a problem but I'm functional
So, no one sees
Huh
I wasn't sober
In well over
Like a full decade
But don't worry
Imma still give you
Like a full cd
You're entertained
And I'm alone
So please don't rescue me
If you'd been through
What I've been through
You'd be dead guaranteed
I tried to numb myself with alcohol
And different medications
That's the thing about depression
It's a temporary savior
Think you built a happy house
Well, you just dug yourself a basement
And the only thing your numbing
Is the pain that you're not facin'
See it's quite the predicament
You can live in deliciousness
But what are you gonna do
When the candy store's out of business
There was a time
I thought I had completely lost it
I was sitting in my room
With these pills that I'm taking often
It started out as a hobby
But then it became a problem
'Cause I'm thinkin' Imma die
Before I detox off em'
I didn't know it was Fentanyl
Till' the night I almost died
But now I'm taking 5 a day
I only care bout getting high
And I ain't got no fuckin money
I'm betting on suicide
Hold up, hold up, hold up
I wanna read you
Something I wrote
Yo
It's my birthday, happy birthday
The same day that I am writing this
I'm all the fuck alone
'Cause I wanna fucking get high again
I only got a couple friends
And one of em's Vicodin
And I do not want to die
I just can't deal with this life I'm in
No messages in my phone
Think I'm destined to be alone
I'm depressed in a sea of ghosts
I don't know what to call my home
Well happy birthday, happy birthday
I'm sober, well it's a lie
Well happy birthday, happy birthday
Congratulations, I died
Jesus Christ
Ummm
Du, du, du, du, du
Well
There was a time
I thought I had completely lost it
I had taken 15 benzos
And I chased it with a bottle
Of whisky and teetertottered
Into my car and got drivin'
And I smashed it on the highway
Into a cement divider
Ummm
There was a time
I thought I had completely lost it
I was stealing medication
From my sister in the hospital
God Damnit
There was a time
I thought I had completely lost it
Then I finally got sober
I'm for real this time
I'm off it
The alcohol, the pills
The psychedelics and weed
Yo, I've been on a fucking bender
Since the age of 13
I got 1,000 extra chances
Some people don't get a second
I'm not immortal
I don't know why my clock is still tickin'
I don't know why I got a chance
To finish this record
Maybe I'm special
Or maybe it was the prayers
That I said and
All I know is I should be dead
And with my mom up in Heaven
Instead I'm
A fucking miracle
Thank you God for this blessing
To everyone along the way
I happened to hurt
You heard it here first
I am sorry and I'm lifting
The curse
I spent so many years
Numbing the shit that I felt
That I'm excited for the chance
To finally be myself
I thought I had completely lost it
I was sitting in my room
With a razor blade in my pocket
A shiny destructive object
I pushed it into my palm
And started cutting on my arm
Until the blood was dripping off him
Ok
Well, that's an issue
Scar tissue is stickin' with you
You can lie to your family
And tell them that it's just the misuse
Of a burner at work
But see, reality hurts
You can cover up depression
With a smile and a shirt
Cover up the fact there's
Not a smile in your eyes
With a brand-new pair of Ray Bans
A perfect disguise
Nobody has to know that
Every day you want to die
And you're so good at making plans
You plan the end of your life
So, I
Called my ex-fiancé on the phone that night
She said
I've been there, believe me
I'm no stranger to that life
How'd you do it? Did you at least
Sanitize that knife
I said
I'm sorry, I'm embarrassed, I can't handle this life
Baby, clean yourself up
No reason to be ashamed
I know your fucked up, it's ok
'Cause imma love you through the pain
And then I passed out in the bloody sheets
Staring at her face
I'm ok
I'm not ok
'Cause
I was drinking liquor
For like 4-5 days
Switch to benzos
For like 4-5 days
Well ok
Went to tramadol
I'm taking over 10 each day
Passin' out up on the couch
For like 3 whole days
I Went comatose
So, Lord Please pray
I got a problem but I'm functional
So, no one sees
Huh
I wasn't sober
In well over
Like a full decade
But don't worry
Imma still give you
Like a full cd
You're entertained
And I'm alone
So please don't rescue me
If you'd been through
What I've been through
You'd be dead guaranteed
I tried to numb myself with alcohol
And different medications
That's the thing about depression
It's a temporary savior
Think you built a happy house
Well, you just dug yourself a basement
And the only thing your numbing
Is the pain that you're not facin'
See it's quite the predicament
You can live in deliciousness
But what are you gonna do
When the candy store's out of business
There was a time
I thought I had completely lost it
I was sitting in my room
With these pills that I'm taking often
It started out as a hobby
But then it became a problem
'Cause I'm thinkin' Imma die
Before I detox off em'
I didn't know it was Fentanyl
Till' the night I almost died
But now I'm taking 5 a day
I only care bout getting high
And I ain't got no fuckin money
I'm betting on suicide
Hold up, hold up, hold up
I wanna read you
Something I wrote
Yo
It's my birthday, happy birthday
The same day that I am writing this
I'm all the fuck alone
'Cause I wanna fucking get high again
I only got a couple friends
And one of em's Vicodin
And I do not want to die
I just can't deal with this life I'm in
No messages in my phone
Think I'm destined to be alone
I'm depressed in a sea of ghosts
I don't know what to call my home
Well happy birthday, happy birthday
I'm sober, well it's a lie
Well happy birthday, happy birthday
Congratulations, I died
Jesus Christ
Ummm
Du, du, du, du, du
Well
There was a time
I thought I had completely lost it
I had taken 15 benzos
And I chased it with a bottle
Of whisky and teetertottered
Into my car and got drivin'
And I smashed it on the highway
Into a cement divider
Ummm
There was a time
I thought I had completely lost it
I was stealing medication
From my sister in the hospital
God Damnit
There was a time
I thought I had completely lost it
Then I finally got sober
I'm for real this time
I'm off it
The alcohol, the pills
The psychedelics and weed
Yo, I've been on a fucking bender
Since the age of 13
I got 1,000 extra chances
Some people don't get a second
I'm not immortal
I don't know why my clock is still tickin'
I don't know why I got a chance
To finish this record
Maybe I'm special
Or maybe it was the prayers
That I said and
All I know is I should be dead
And with my mom up in Heaven
Instead I'm
A fucking miracle
Thank you God for this blessing
To everyone along the way
I happened to hurt
You heard it here first
I am sorry and I'm lifting
The curse
I spent so many years
Numbing the shit that I felt
That I'm excited for the chance
To finally be myself
Credits
Writer(s): Daxton Aris
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
Link
© 2024 All rights reserved. Rockol.com S.r.l. Website image policy
Rockol
- Rockol only uses images and photos made available for promotional purposes (“for press use”) by record companies, artist managements and p.r. agencies.
- Said images are used to exert a right to report and a finality of the criticism, in a degraded mode compliant to copyright laws, and exclusively inclosed in our own informative content.
- Only non-exclusive images addressed to newspaper use and, in general, copyright-free are accepted.
- Live photos are published when licensed by photographers whose copyright is quoted.
- Rockol is available to pay the right holder a fair fee should a published image’s author be unknown at the time of publishing.
Feedback
Please immediately report the presence of images possibly not compliant with the above cases so as to quickly verify an improper use: where confirmed, we would immediately proceed to their removal.