Twas

So, I am going to read a holiday classic
It is a timeless Christmas tradition
'Tw-'twas
Ye-ye-yeah
'Twas
Ye-ye-yeah
'Twas, 'twas, 'twas
Yo

'Twas the night before Christmas and although the house
Nobody was awake, not even my dog Klause
The stockings were all hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
And the children, man, they were all snug in their beds
While visions of the latest toys danced in their heads
Wifey in my t-shirt and me in my skull cap
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap

When out on the lawn, I heard a boom-batter
I jumped up out the sack to see what was the matter
Away to the window, I flew like a flash
Tore open up the shutters and threw up the sash
The moon glistening on, the new fallen snow
Had the shine of midday and set the hood all aglow
When to my big brown eyes what should appear
But a pimped out sleigh and eight ready rein-deer
With a old man driving, energetic and quick
I knew right then it gotta be St. Nick

More rapid than the eagles, his reindeer they came
He whistled and shouted, he called them by name
Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen
On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, on Blixen
To the top of the porch, top of the wall
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly
As they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky

So, up to the house-top, the reindeer they flew
With a sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof
As I came back in the window turning around
Down the chimney came St. Nick and he gave me a pound
He was dressed up all in fur from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished from the ashes and soot

A bundle of toys, he had flung on his back
And he looked like a peddler when he opened his pack
He had a twinkle in his eyes and his dimples were deep
His face was mad round with red rosy cheeks
He had ice in his mouth like the frozen North Pole
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow

Stump of a pipe, he held that tight in his teeth
And the smoke made a halo on his head like a wreath
He had a swag from the hood and a huge fat belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl of mint jelly
Sturdy and thick, a right jolly old fella
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself
He gave a wink of his eye and a nod of his head
Like he was tellin' me, "Yo, you got nothing to dread"

Mum was the word, then he went straight to his work
And filled up all the stockings, then he turned with a jerk
Then laying his finger on the side of his nose
Gave me a head nod and up the chimney he rose
Hopped in his sleigh, then he gave his deer a whistle
They all flew away like the flight of missile
But I heard him yell out as he flew through the night
"Merry Christmas to all and to all a dope night"