Right Reasons

How am I supposed to face
Everything about me that I would erase if
I knew it would make me a better man?
And would I still be me?
I say I want to change the world
But there's a lot about me that I need to change first
A lot of contradictions I don't understand
Example, if I
Say I want representation
for my people under one nation
Then why do I see such a threat
when I see my own represent?
Thought that I would be our hero
Brown boy from Queens, came from zero
Said I want my people to succeed
Don't want to think that I really meant just me
Internalized racism, tryna run a race with it
Tryna tell myself that the world got plenty space for us
Yeah tomorrow, it was made for us
Competition only holding us down
I know I'm not the only one
I could feel the haters on me
But shouldn't I be the change for us?

If I'm living by this diamond that I wear on my chest
Fighting for what it represents
How could I now hope to lead
If I don't practice what I preach?
Jealous thoughts I won't say out loud
I just don't show love, I'm not proud
And I know that it doesn't help
So time and time, I ask myself

Am I in this for the right reasons?
Am I in this for...
Am I in this for the right reasons?
Am I in this for...
Am I in this for the right reasons?
Am I in this for...
Am I in this for the right reasons?
Am I in this for...

How am I supposed to know
If everything I ever claimed that I stood for was for show?
Would I still try to be a good person
If it wasn't part of my brand?
Intention is bent, deep down
I'm self-serving again
Do I sing to spread a message?
Or is therapy just too expensive?
I was never the cool kid in school
Couldn't talk to girls, such a fool
I was just the weird kid into metal
But they came around when my band took off a little
I got laid in different states, got lost a little
Couldn't be a real man without the women
Do I sing all my high notes to heal my soul?
Or just 'cause the ladies like it?
I'm losing myself just to try and be relevant
I wish I could make music just like a kid again
Like a kid again, but my parents are growing old
And I want to make them proud,
Maybe if I buy them a house with the songs I sing

I'll convince myself that all my blood, sweat, and tears is enough
Right now it feels like my life peaked at just 21
That's all I'll ever become
In a world where artistry is measured by pain
God forbid I don't wake up and suffer today
So I don't have to ask myself

Am I in this for the right reasons?
Am I in this for...
Am I in this for the right reasons?
Am I in this for...
Am I in this for the right reasons?
Am I in this for...
Am I in this for the right reasons?
Am I in this for...