How Could I

How could I, how could I, how could I
Have wasted all that, all that I have spent
When I have, when I have, when I have
Been living on a life that's been lent

Their names coat the bathtub
Their echoes fill the drawers
I don't think there is much left for me to love anymore
How could I, how could I, how could I

You tell me
How I tell you such beautiful stories
And I want to rip apart your grin
But instead I just curl up my knuckles and wait

I'll never have a child, no I'll never have a child
I don't trust any chin that's been, that's been born innocent
But if I were to, if I were to hold their hand
I'm not so sure I'd find a difference in our skin

But I am hit and burn and carve and slap and scrape
How could they know, they wouldn't know how pain can make a cave
In you

You tell me
How gentle I can be
How do I say my softness is just rage contained?
So I just smile and I thank you for the compliment

Can't you hear them singing?
They've left this world and left behind this ringing
I block my ears, they bind my eyes
And tell me that they're never leaving

What can I do to make you all go away?
They say you are in us as much they are in me
Bloodline, blood let, oh let me let this go and they say no
They say no

I sit you down, untie my tongue
And tell you how it feels
To be just an echo
In a cave that will never heal

You hold in your two hands
What you don't know how to say
It's alright, I didn't expect an answer anyways

But then you
Take me to your silence
And for a moment things seem to slow
But I know
Your eyes will never meet the hollows in mine