Earth Marine 2013

I don't know what I'm doing
And I have no idea what I'm supposed to do
I am swamped by my utter lack of ambition
That my artistry just brings me closer to

I read something by Kafka yesterday
I didn't understand what he was trying to say
But I feel just a little bit worse now
And not in some liberating absurdist fashion

Everyone should feel like this at least once
Helpless and sick and confused
The advice that I got didn't do shit for me
But I hope it works for you

(Why'd you)
(build your house on my ribs) Because a man should work for money
(Pinning me down) And a man should have a wife
(I don't know how) A man is a machine
(To get out there) That lives a proper life

(There's a sickness behind my eyelids) His children should adore him
(It's much worse now) And he should die before them
(Can we just talk about) I don't feel like a machine
(Anything else) Am I doing this right

Everyone should feel like this at least once
Oh how they couldn't
No one has to understand

We could cry and sing and fall in love
But we know that we shouldn't
Because tomorrow we'll fall victim to today

I looked around in popular culture (growing mildly desperate)
To find some ideas that'd set me at ease (they won't)
Bradbury and Asimov and even Alex Beachum
(I'll be like them in a second)
They all had different ways of telling me please don't go

But I already know (at least I think that I want to)
And didn't I say it didn't matter the strain (I never said that)
I don't think I can live like this, or any other way (maybe)

I can't do this without me (I think)
Because I know there's nothing for me back there
(Just a job and a life)
I don't know if I'm scared of heights
Or if I'm just afraid of the ladder

Who am I to feel so god damn uncertain
Isn't this bigger than me
But haven't I the right to be terrified
Of such sporadic opportunity

In the sky, in that world
We will be one against the Quiet Pale audience

Nobody should ever feel like this
Why is this my choice to make
I should be forced to stay or forced to go

I don't feel safe here anymore
I don't feel safe in the footsteps of these giants
And I don't think I'd feel any better on their shoulders
I don't understand what I'm-

Who am I to feel so god damn uncertain
Isn't this bigger than me
But haven't I the right to be terrified
Of such sporadic opportunity

In the sky, in that world
We will be one against the Quiet Pale audience

I made my mind up years ago
To raise this wall up past the snow
I asked these patients how they plead
To raise their hands and beg for me

They danced like animals for us
They drank their fear and felt much worse
I asked these patients how they felt
They stopped their dancing when I did