Liquor Talk

Got that vodka with the juice so now pour it up
Thinking how I couldn't get a truce with the ones I loved
But I'm thankful I survived and I rose above
All the bullshit but it's coming back I'm not strong as I was
I used to write down all my thoughts with my sweat, tears and blood
I planted a beautiful tree and then I teared it down
Now have to go back to my roots but ain't nothing around
Now I'm too afraid to lose like all my wins ain't count

I'm mapping out the plans scared that they could never take off
Or maybe I could leave this world too early just like Takeoff
Fuck it Ima take all
I gotta roll the dice, tryna cop some ice cause there's heatwaves in the summer
Now I'm venting cause she bad and she could never get saved
But it's all a game, don't need a checkpoint she can still end up getting played

So now it's hide and seek, you hiding your feelings
And your love something that I seek and know the boy a slick villain
Ok now I ain't feel much love in a while
Start a chase and find you'll lose that type of race by a mile
Music bumping loud, you'll never find yourself when you wildin out
Tried to put my hands over my ears but it's louder now

Man that shit is crazy how life really could be easy
But relations complicated and I don't got enough money yet to please me
And I'm faded, my decisions ain't the best
Now I'm thinking do I like her or do I just want the sex, I'm feeling stressed

Now should I smoke it all away
Dreaming bout a foreign but my dreams they get more foreign by the day
I've always just tried to find my place
Never could but maybe touring could be it I never seem to stay
I do this for the family by the way
Always tried to pull my own weight but I could never lead the way
I just wanna live up to this dream
Done riding the bus or bike at -18

I still got fire in my soul, I ain't flyer I don't fold
But I still gave the info my niggas desperately needed
You know what happens after that, niggas claim you ain't had they back
When you lost you losing track and you derail and you get blamed
Now life just isn't the same, I felt the guilt drive me insane
Birth a halo with a BANG but then my mom would feel the pain
So I went hard in everything, my body felt the strain
Tryna go fast in a foreign that's color candy cane
But wont never go as fast as falling hour glass grains
Rather spend more time with my father than partying with these lames
Well I do neither, spend a check on shoes as some form of breather
But when I'm alone in my room oxygen turning to ether
I don't hesitate no more it's fail or pull the fucking trigger
Feel anxious should I pop a pill I won't for my lil brother
Cause he need me, they can't be me, never understand my life
What you know bout rising from the depths and me I did it twice

I can't prove to them what I can't prove to myself
You love to be on top well it's not enough oh well
So hard to keep going when I want meaningful tales
Finished my cup now I'm sitting here by myself