self destruct

I've been tryna change my ways, not lose my faith
If I don't take the step, then I'll just stay the same
Staring at a screen to get through night and day
It's hard to keep my confidence in fucking place
I know you wonder where I've been and why I left so long
A place that's stuck in time and clocks are wrong
The sun don't shine and birds don't sing along
Upside down and nothing's where it belongs

self destruct or fix me up?
Do I tear the seams or stitch em up?
If I cut the thread, I'm close enough to the edge to end what I've begun
But I can never do that
I can never do that
I can never do that, oh my god

Maybe I'm clueless
Ignorant to what the truth is
Can't run or hide, baby, it's useless
I know that I've been playing stupid
I gotta save myself
for me and for no one else
Before I decay or melt
Or wither away in hell
Tired of acting like it's fine
Wish I could speak my fucking mind
When I'm here, my tongue is tied When I'm there, I'm free to fly

I need to get away from here Ignore all my biggest fears
Feel the sounds ring through my ears

Cause I know you wonder
where I've been and why I left so long
A place that's stuck in time and clocks are wrong
The sun don't shine and birds don't sing along
Upside down and nothing's where it belongs

Self destruct or fix me up?
Do I tear the seams or stitch em up?
If I cut the thread, I'm close enough to the edge to end what I've begun
But I can never do that
I can never do that I can never do that, oh my god