let you go

I lost a few important people that I thought were my f–
Now I wake up with nobody, it's just me 'til the end
And I've been told I was the problem, I'm like "maybe that's true?"
I had to look inside my soul to see what's blockin' the view
And I knew something was amiss, the way you looked in his eyes
I try my best to not say hate, but that's someone I despise
I'll even go as far to say that I'll be glad when he dies
And I don't give a fuck what you think, I'm so done with the lies
I gotta profit off my pain, so now I'm speakin' my mind

I'm sick of watchin' what I say, so right now I'ma be blind
That fuckin' pussy, he could barely even look in my eyes
I'm fuckin' up right now 'cause I said I put the past behind
But stupid me, that's really the only way I know how to write
Don't wanna hurt you but I know I'll end up makin' you cry
I wanna disappear but also want you here in my life
This shit's so complicated I can never make up my mind

You tried to shut me out, but I could always see through the blinds
And how I wrote the way it ended, it turned out to be right
There's no such thing as code, I guess I can't say that I'm surprised
All for pussy, that's so crazy, that was six years of life
I'm dying lately, been so hazy, I'm still stressed all the time
Can't do these shows, I'm feelin' low without you right by my side
So, I'll step on the stage and try my best to put on a smile
You think you know me, well let's see, I bet you can't walk a mile
It's exhausting in my brain, feel like I'm never relaxed

I had my person, now my person packed up all of their bags
And I swear that I wish you well, I hope you find what you need
I'm just so angry at myself, it turned out it wasn't me
I know it's partially my fault, I guess we live and we learn
But life goes on, I'll make it through, but dammit, for you, I yearn
I know you're independent now, so you go and do your thing
I probably held you back, I'm sorry I was clippin' your wings

I'm cryin' right as I write this, I can't even see the screen
So many nights I spend alone and cryin' myself to sleep
I shove my face into the pillow, so no one hears me scream
I'll just end this with "I love you, go and live out your dreams"