Darwin Was No Irishman (Live)

They can argue about the Bible until they're blue in their faces
But I have faith in the word of God that no evolution replaces
Darwin was no Irishman on that point I'm resolved
I'm sure no one from the county Clare has ever evolved
If the good Lord had meant for man to evolve from the protozoa
Why weren't there just a hundred pairs of those one-cells on board with Noah?

Our story's got spectacle, and theirs is nickel and dime
I'd rather work down from God than work my way up from slime
Look at me, Lord, I'm dancin' for ya, can you see me dance here
Dancin' for your honor and your glory

Well, you see, Lord, it's actually 'cause I'm drunk
But then I'm drunk most days except on Sunday, Lord, of course
'Cause that's your day, and on those days I go to church
Drunk and a bell kept for you, Lord, and another one, a-ha!

If they'd just ignore evolution, it wouldn't seem so inviting
Folks won't waste their time listening to evil talk, unless it's exciting
Who cares how we got on Earth? Would it help if we knew?
We'd still have the Teapot Dome
And Prohibition, too

They can argue about the Bible and Darwin until the Rapture
But all that they can expect from Kelso's a fundamentalist fracture
Darwin was no Irishman, on that point we're absolved
I'm sure no one from the Emerald Isle has ever evolved