Underbelly

I said "I think I might be lying to myself" and I let my self be vulnerable
I let my guard down one last time and right away there's hellfire and thunder
A horde of frantic soldiers storm the gate and rape and plunder, stomp all over
The ancient mystic order of disordered sordid thoughts at once take over

Never let my underbelly show, never let my insides show
Never let my soft and tender ever to be known again

You make me want to be a better person
But I'm not
I am not
And I will never ever ever ever be
I refuse to grow to or change or learn a lesson
I will not
I will not
You'd be better just to leave and let me be

I've gotta go to the bathroom honey
Ask the barista to spit in my drink
Pay for the coffee with my money
And when I get back we will find you a twink

I can't compete with your dead grandmother
I can't compete with your perplexing past
There's nothing on my mind but the frequent caller
Nothing on my mind but thing won't last

I've gotta go to the bathroom honey
Ask the barista to spit in my drink
Pay for the coffee with my money
And when I get back we will