Smoke in My Room (Demo in Budapest)

12 pages of lyrics, the highest record
But I hesitated to get my guitar
I guess deep inside, I still have that struggle
Should I move backwards or move on

I went through sorrow, anger and confusion
Heard you voice and all I did is shiver
You were the best and the worse of them
Something I did not expect

'Cause you knew I did nothing wrong
You're the one who cheated and kept all the hearts
And you knew I'm too good for you
So, you talked down to me and hated my friends

But still I am, watching the Shelbys
And aching my heart, falling apart
And I hate myself tanked up, a walking flesh
But I smoke in my room just to smell like you
Little talks with your whiskey
Did you talk about me?
Oh God, why is it so hard to hate you
Guess you brought that little girl out of me
And that you made me thought I was settled

You're one of the good ones, or so you claim
But my forgiveness has given you strength
Now keep that video and play your innocence
My souvenir to you

And I had to put an end after hell and back
I gotta say stop even you were mine
And I wish you well, what a perfect match
Patriarchist and the wife

'Cause you envy the dreams in me
So, you look down at me for your self-esteem
And you knew you grew up wrong
But the fact it's not me but you who is the whore

But still I am, watching the Shelbys
And aching my heart, falling apart
And I hate myself tanked up, a walking flesh
But I smoke in my room just to smell like you
Little talks with your whiskey
Did you talk about me?
Oh God, why is it so hard to hate you
Guess you brought that little girl out of me
And that you made me thought I was settled

The burns on my skin
You knew everything
But push me right into your flames
The cost of your pride
You threw away the only true thing in your life

Is it worth it?
Is it worth it?
Is it worth it?

So here I am, watching the Shelbys
And bracing my heart try to not fall apart
'Cause I hate myself tanked up, a walking flesh
But I still smoke in my room to smell like you
Little talks with your whiskey
Did you talk about me?
Are you happy now that I hate you
Who killed that little girl inside of me
And my longing for love or a home