I. It's Fine in that it Doesn't Matter

Maybe I don't
Understand where it is I've been going
But at one paint
I had something like a plan
Like cigarettes in an ashtray
I'll either be thrown out or I'll burst into flames
Oh well

Still
In this blankness, I
Find space, space for my invasive thoughts
But it's fine
A graceless smile with blank baggy eyes. I mean
It's fine in that it doesn't matter
At all

This is not the first time that I've asked
But are you with me right now?
Really with me right now?
This might not be the last time that I ask
Are you still with me now?
Could you get with me now?

Call me a parasocialite
Carve cavities into my head with that one sided social life
There's too much time left to unwind
Hail to the blood pink sky
I'll never find where I began
Carry on. It's worth a try

I find myself moving through life
Selectively numb, fleetingly meaningless
And off-puttingly grateful
I will always remind myself
The difference between being afraid
Of confrontation and being kind
But all this is
Is a frame around nothing
All I've been
Is a frame delicately placed around nothing



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