Ill Will

Suffocating in silence
But you muffled out the true violence
There's nothing left for me to hold
(My mind stays in place as my body grows old)

I'm still trying to realize
The events of years ago and decide
And you don't know what you've done
(Do you deserve to see the sun?)

My dreams still give me hope
Though it's less than you'll ever know
There's nothing left for me to hold
(You're the reason I've become so cold)

I hold onto this regret
And I'll feel this ice until my last breath
I look at you now and know you're to blame
(You're the only one who made me this way)

I wish I could hurt you the same
So you know the monster I became
You think I don't want to let go?
(These things still haunt me as I grow)

I don't want you in my life
Though I would've given in it in any fight
The warning was in your name
(I know I have become insane)

You told me what I wanted to hear
That's Biggest lie after all these years
I've fought my selves to keep away
(They still crave the amends to this day)

I just need an answer and need to know why
I couldn't have you in my life?
I can never go home
(You still have something that I own)