Dearmama

first i found a pen
then i found a grin
write this down again
all are full of sin
will you tell again?
all this shit i been
found my life again
never lose again
found my fuckin' zen
years i've tried to win
someone help me mend
hurt, fell down again
no home left to rent
all this shit i've been
will it ever end?
left alone again
lost my mind again
somehow only bend
broke but alive been
chasin' that dream since
never settle less than
felt like a less than
quick to forget him
but i feel like Samson
sang like a champion
born at the advent
somethin' like an anvil
still can't explain still
quiet but inside healed
that's how my mind feels
poured out my heart still
hard to accept real love
yeah that word kills
kind but my hearts near froze
cause i don't care
pause 'fore you judge real
talk means a lot, 'nil
pain left some scars still
guess never truly heal
kinda like a garbage pale
time like a teacher, Phil
never worry 'bout a deal
did i go wrong?
chill. life has a way still
strong cause i'm not killed
yeah, that's really real
spend my life now hopin' for a better deal
seventeen, hit with the bill
then came all the pills
broken heart, this female
left me in disdain still
said, you're a sick male
lookin' for somethin' real
broken, it made me feel
years i tried to heal
trust was away, deal
this was my life, clear
not until i met dear
started to subside, fear
trusted her heart for real
didn't care how it appeared
on my way to whole still
i'm still tryin' to heal
guilt's been very near
but i found someone helps with the pain
makes me laugh, enjoy the rain
poured out my heart
still hard to accept real love
yeah, that word kills
all this shit i been
will it ever end?
left alone again