I am not Sad

I was just a little boy when I began to hate my life
At eleven years old, I tried to end it with a knife
At fifteen, I could tie the perfect knot
Nineteen, I had the pills to make it stop

I waited all these years for when I turned twenty-one
To let my brain smear, to let the blood run
Time is moving slow, ever since I bought a nine
I'd give them all a show, I'd get a fancy shrine

Spat out by the system, I'm too much of a freak
I'm mad I didn't listen, that - wasn't free
The chances I was giving healing wounds I can't ignore
By the time, I'm driven, it's too late for the encore

I'm reaching for the stars, I'm sinking to the ground
Life has gotten pretty hard, and can I turn around
To tell you the whole truth, I don't know where I should stand
Give in to the voice, and follow its demands

Last night I had a dream- scene, we were still together
And I should know better, I should grow and let her
I took her for granted, my love is not wanted
Can't deal with my hardships, so I'll dearly depart then

Looking back at where I was I never understood
The value I could hold if I had fixed what I should
I lost my love to time, I'm scrambling for cures
If I think too hard I'll cry, emotions have endured

It's growing hard to breathe, at once I'll feel it all
My heart is on my sleeve, please don't let me fall
I'm scared of being seen with all my barricading walls
I'm scared of being me, in a world I don't belong

The pain you haven't trusted, it's far more than I could tell
I'm sorry that you waited for imaginary help
I want a second chance, this time I'll do it right
You told me there's no chance, I guess this is goodbye



Credits
Writer(s): Domingo Dominguez Jr
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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