Find Your Way Back (Letter to Dad)

You were the coolest person I ever knew
Wherever I looked, it was mostly up to you
You overcame things that most would have crumbled through
As far as excuses, they rarely came from you
Plus taught me like everything that I ever knew
Like how to survive in the streets
How to rap over a beat
And how when most box, their stance is weak so knock over their feet
But you gotta keep that discreet, hands up or get put to sleep
You see
You had a corporate job and we from the hood
That was unheard of, for me it did some good
Like opened my eyes to things that I never could
You gave me a chance I otherwise never stood
In the best way that you could, you taught me right from wrong
And that family is the only thing worth fighting for
You kept me in school, yea you made sure of that
Plus you supported my dreams, I know that for a fact

And I hope you find your way back
Wish we could take it way back
And though I love you in this moment too
I wish you'd be the man you always told me to

Oceans apart from the man you were to me
...It's like you've lost your sense of urgency
You rarely call me sober, are those days over?
Are drugs and alcohol just a placeholder?
Do you plan to get your life back?
Got a place to call home after a night cap?
I'm wondering cause if we're speaking truthfully
I don't know the last time that you told the truth to me
Do you got dreams and aspirations still?
I'm turning 34, how does that make you feel?
When did things start to fall apart?
When you lost your job, what was on your heart?
When you lay your head down, what's on your mind?
You did your best for me, trust I'm doing mine
Tickets to the game, surprises on the dime
I know that man is still inside, I see him all the time

And I hope you find your way back
Wish we could take it way back
And though I love you in this moment too
I wish you'd be the man you always told me to

And I must admit that something that I struggled with
Is thinking I'm the reason why the family split
And carrying the cross from all the pain I've caused
Being young ain't no excuse, I still made a choice
I never told my side to you cause that ain't me
But I was touched in ways a child should never be
Cause they were touched in ways a child should never be
Understanding and forgiveness that's what brings me peace
Was holding onto things that hurt too much to keep
But by the time you hear this, you should know I'm free
I even held a grudge cause it was on weekends
When it was your bed that I was posed' to sleep in
Being older now it's finally clear to me
All the sacrifices that you made for me
Angry and resentful ain't no way to be
Ain't no rotten apples in this family tree

And I'm trying to find my way back
Wish we could take it way back
And though I love me in this moment too
Still trying to be the man you always told me to