Rainy Days

Yeah, rainy days I guess my grass wouldn't be greener if they
Never came I wish I never got it wrong but look what
I did with the shame Now strangers vibe to my pain
While anxiety fuckin my brain am I dying or going insane

My doctor wrote me a script But fuck it, I'm sticking to mine
If it's really all just in my mind I can endure, I'll be fine
I tell myself time after time But it happenin time and time again
I used to think I was paying for sins But damn, how come it don't happen to them

I should've been smiling Laughing and wildin
Instead I'm throwing the towel in I can't be nothing but fearful or violent
No, can't give fear no place Especially nowhere on my face
Didn't sleep a wink all night But when they call we here to save the day

I'm sick of waking with my heart racing Can't sit still so I'm out here pacing
Until it pass I gotta be patient
Looking loony like a mental patient It's hard
When the moment's ticking like hours Reminding myself he didn't give us a spirit

Of fear He gave us a spirit of power, Lord
If I can make it you can make it too I almost got me don't let you get you
You get you You feel what I'm saying
Still breathing in the morning Can't believe I'm still going

Look If I can make it you can make it too
Make it too I almost got me don't let you get you
You get you Hear what I'm saying
When I don't believe and I'm doubting My faith does the walking

I be doing shit I ain't supposed to But none of it's wrong
I wasn't supposed to have this career I wasn't supposed to find the one
I wasn't supposed to have the kind of credit That could buy my house with put nothing down
I wasn't supposed to be up Is that why your smile upside down

I went from living hellbound To having heaven right now
They ask what would you say to God if you seen him I said I talk to God right now
And sometimes I look a little crazy Cause I just be talking out loud
And sometimes sin persuade me But I work it back out

I'm just trying to fuck my wife Like I just met her every night
I lust for conflicting morals Like baby is this right
I don't wanna argue cause our differences Give life it's flavor
I just learned to not think so much You should do yourself that favor

Cause I spent nights pacing Had my mind racing
And my heart racing faster I've been on pills saying prayers
But to hell with the shrink and the pastor I gotta blaze my own trail
Mama pray I don't fail But it's out of our hands

You see I didn't choose this life I was born to lead the kings
Lord If I can make it you can make it too
Make it too I almost got me don't let you get you
You get you You feel what I'm saying

Still breathing in the morning Can't believe I'm still going
Lord Yeah
If I can make it you can make it too Make it too
I almost got me don't let you get you You get you

Hear what I'm saying? When I don't believe and I'm doubting
My faith does the walking, yeah Yeah
Look Still breathing in the morning
Can't believe I'm still going When I don't believe and I'm doubting

My faith does the walking, yeah It's like does anything we do even matter
Will we ever get a chance? We're not born connected so what
We just pay taxes till we die Consume
And if I pour my heart out Who gon' clean up the mess

Home is where the heart is Honest I can't think of the address
I'm either joyful or I'm anxious Or I'm angry or depressed
You surprised you only see me smiling Cause the rest is suppressed
Or bottled until the panic sets in And I'm throttled

Facing death again I'd give anything for this shit to end
But all it wants is my peace of mind And that's what it takes
Between rock bottom and a hard place Something's gotta break
It's my heart cause I'm blessed with gifts I might as well not even have

No rich friends or nepotism Just a middle class mom and dad and they split
Now me and my wife following examples that don't exist
You know two people on they first marriage Not calling it quits
It's the only dream this soulless Patriarchy ain't taken from me yet

And I'll die before I add us to my list of regrets
Feel like I'm screaming into space Perpetually out of place
Sold dreams that are just schemes For me to spend more as I chase
Damn