Orange & Purple Poem (Poem Version)

You started peeling away like paint on a rusted shed wall before I even realized it
Somehow I have memorized the lines and those curves despite only having drawn, touched, scribbled and cut them once in my life
The colors were so contrasting
A bright orange was a deep, deep, deep, deep purple

How funny I was thinking those two colors could mix and create something worth lasting
We had seemed like a pipe dream, two souls with awkwardly curious hands and an everlasting starvation for each other's lips
Neck. Stomach. Thighs. Mind
We bloomed so slowly from friends to lovers

Lovers
Then melted so quickly from lovers to strangers
Strangers with each other's secrets
How silly of me not to see that I was a plaything in your playpen

How blind of my senses not to realize that as much as I choked on my own overflowing fears and troubles
It was you who kept filling the glass with your own watered-down promises and anxieties of your own
Never giving me any space to precariously distribute my own to you
Never helping me through the ocean I so desperately wanted to drown in

I still keep romanticizing this orange and purple love we had
Wondering maybe I don't have the full story
Maybe it was a mistake pushing you away instead of hearing your explanation
But everything inside of me, the ocean included, tells me to move the fuck on

So I forget the taste of your lips and the sound of my name dripping off them like honey
I force myself to forget, to distort and villainize myself
So now, when the doorbell rings, when your phone buzzes
when your coffee is too sweet, when you can't keep from rolling into the crater that I made in your bed

when the trees turn away from you, when the breakup songs start to sound all too familiar
I hope you think of me the way I thought of you when all you could think about was me
The way I thought of you when all you could think about was yourself
Yeah

Fuck me, dude