Can't Get Hard

Lemme tell you a story,

Yo, I had this date on Tinder and it was going pretty well, whole time she was acting like a lady,
Talking real proper, good manners, lady like, sounded real fucking sweet with everything that she was saying
Couldn't figure out if she was trying to date me. I was thinking maybe
Went back to her place and she started getting crazy
Making moves on me and her ass started shaking
So much it had the Fox saying it was Michael J-ing
God damn
Shit was mind fucking boggling,
Taking off her shirt and then she climbed up on top of me
Said she wanna ride on a rocket, see
I responded copy, she got on me like she tryna learn astronomy
But Houston, yo we might have a problem, see
My fucking bodily functions weren't tryna function properly
Ironically, cock blocked by my own cock, shit is quite the anomaly
My god you got to be
Kidding me, this shit ridiculous, my dick is villainous
This chick is feelin' us, and my dick it just isn't getting up
It's giving up, surrendering, it's waving the white flag
But works fine when I got a vid on the iPad, now I'm mad
But she ain't stop until she get it
Relentless, had it up for 15 seconds
Now that drive girl, I got to respect it
Hit it with a revive, like a medic tryna res-erect it
Get it

But I can't get hard,
No I can't get, nah,
I got an issue with my willy, it isn't getting stiffy,
Dealing with a flimsy dicky ain't right
I don't know what to do about it, but the chick I'm with is pouting,
I was supposed to leave her shouting all night,
But I can't get hard,
No I can't get hard no I can't get hard
No I can't get, nah,
I got an issue with my willy, it isn't getting stiffy,
Dealing with a flimsy dicky ain't right,
I don't know what to do about it, but the chick I'm with is pouting,
I was supposed to leave her shouting all night

My libido somehow missing, like even with some assistance,
Like when she kissing the tip, and my dick, it just isn't flinching
I try giving some convincing, like listen, I know you chilling,
But this chick tryna get filled in with filling, but he ain't willing
To stiffen, just for a minute, and as quick as I'll probably finish
I'm sick of this ignominious dick, it's a freaking hindrance
And this Tinder chick sitting there witnessing this significant impotence,
This ridiculous shit that I'm freaking dealing with, oh whoa,
And I don't know what's happening,
She gone think I'm practicing abstinence,
Actually, fact of the matter is,
Usually, I'm working with a massive,
Well, average dick,
But now she see a shaft that's inadequate, and probably think I'm capping it,
Even when she jacking it, he's static, and this shit is mad embarrassing
Tempted to just go into the bathroom, and just start grabbing shit,
As if she got Viagra in the cabinet,
Then she asks me what's the deal, like I'm Rakuten,
Then I start to laugh a bit
Told her that I haven't been this flaccid during action, and I'm mad that it's happening
Got me thinking why I even have a dick, if it's gone be acting man-erratic, and
How do I be getting hard on accident, but right before I'm having sex,
My boner disappear like a magic trick what a goddamn antagonist,
If I'm a paladin, then my dick is blasphemous
Awkward pause for like half a sec, told me just relax a bit,
Opens up a drawer full of condoms, reaches in and grabs a stack of ten,
Toss them on the table, then she take a knee like Kaepernick
Opens up her trap, and then,
Matter of fact, Ima skip past all the graphic shit that happens after this,
And although she was adamant about having sex
Even when she tried lapping it, and hopping on top while I was galloping,
Not enough horsepower to be pulling on the wagon, and
It's like there were no wheels up on the chariot, so I was stuck dragging it
Safe to say, after that shit, I ain't invited back again,
Uh-uh, and I ain't too ecstatic with the fact that it wasn't up for action, and
I have half a mind to start attacking it
I'd say that Ima beat him when I get home, but this fucker is a masochist
Man, fuck hit, let the match begin

But I can't get hard,
No, I can't get hard, no, I can't get
I can't get hard,
No, I can't get, nah,
I got an issue with my willy, it isn't getting stiffy
Dealing with a flimsy dicky ain't right
Don't know what to do about it but right now I'm fucking pouting
This shit, bouta leave me, shouting all night, goddammit
Cause I can't get hard,
No, I can't get hard, no, I can't get Hard
No, I can't get, nah,
I got an issue with my willy, it isn't getting stiffy,
Dealing with a flimsy dicky ain't right,
Don't know what to do about it but the chick I'm with is pouting,
I was supposed to leave her shouting all night