Taking It Back

Think I was a normal kid 'fore you appeared
Maybe a hint of some weird but it's clear
I was better off till you interfered
Were you creeping in there? Were you already here?
Really I don't wanna know
I think you flirted with my brother?
Yeah you were with my brother he told me a joke
Then we said the same word said if you still wanna marry
You should touch your nose and you went like woah
Activated
Introduced me to you it was agitating
Stupid Italian superstition's all it was
But for some reason you made it a massive statement
I'm like "what you saying"?
He's like "nothing crazy"
"It's just some shit I heard man it's dumb, I'm playing"
Truth is the trigger was pulled there was something shady
And you said fuck it then do it? Right just in case and I was trapped
No this isn't logical
Turning you off was just fucking impossible
You say probably there's no correlation but if you're wrong
You gotta live with being responsible
No, then it was constant assault
The thoughts wouldn't go
Like what if because you don't pray for your brother and father
Then God wants to punish you and he decides that he's taking em' both?
Shit escalated beyond my control I was dealing with intrusive thoughts
Of harm caused to the people that I knew and loved
No matter how ridiculous I couldn't choose to run
Cause I'd be living with the guilt of killing and really plenty more
Like I did when I researched you show up in many forms (forums)
OCD, you were no match it was game set
A chain around my brain yes
I didn't know your name yet but
Look at this kid He don't wanna live he's so unattached
He don't wanna this he don't wanna that
No this is revenge I'm taking it back
Yes All the time wasted with you and our rituals that
I will not miss you were all in my head
Was it me or was it you who abused and consumed
Every single relationship I ever had
Don't know who to blame, I wasn't myself
Was never the same, I couldn't rebel
With you all the time, control every tic
All parts of my brain, I'm stuck in a cell
Don't got any friends, you're all that I have
And you make me mess and less of a man
No this is revenge I'm taking it back
No this is revenge I'm taking it back
I'm taking it back to
I'm 22, locked in my room
Is it midnight, is it noon? No stopping no truce
Every single thought you produce, shock and abuse
Till I thought about it getting a shotgun and shoot
There's no talking about you
Who's legitimately gonna believe it
That I be struggling with these demons
It was a front I wasn't undefeated
That you made it tough to even breathe and you
Don't even make sense anymore
My bother the only one suspicious cause he met you before
When you stepped through the door
Oh Lord, victim of you sticking with me no more
I discovered you name, no longer flooded with shame
With every brush on the canvas, you abandon the floor
And now I'm standing for sure, with every beat exposed
Shut down dispensary our relationship we disclosed
But before you throw me in the freezing cold
Tell me was I predisposed or will I have a kid, see him grow and go
Look at this kid, He don't wanna live, he's so unattached
He don't wanna this, he don't wanna that
No this is revenge, I'm taking it back
Yes All the time wasted with you and our rituals that
I will not miss you were all in my head
Was it me or was it you who abused and consumed
Every single relationship I ever had
Don't know who to blame I wasn't myself
Was never the same I couldn't rebel
With you all the time control every tic
All parts of my brain I'm stuck in a cell
Don't got any friends you're all that I have and
You make me mess and less of a man
No this is revenge I'm taking it back
No this is revenge I'm taking it back
I'm taking it back to
I'm taking it to the next level then
Catching up for the time that you meddled with
Made me feel at the centre of everything but I see the damage
By you and your relatives
Isn't my art a poetic escape
Narcissistic till the rest of my days
Compulsion to win, my life in disorder, the obsession the same
At times I still hear what is left of you say