CONTROL

When I lay down at night I think of the way we got here?
(Way we got here)
Had me torn on the inside and out
It's still very not clear why you're not here with me
The only thing I can do is understand
When everything don't work as planned, I
Gotta learn to accept the things I can't control (Control)

As much as I want this to work out (Work out)
I'd rather work on myself right now than
Cause me more pain and doubt
I got a question to ask, will you still be here when I'm done?
Being with you that ship has sailed
I know, I'm not
Trying to perceive this as a loss when
I know it is my fault, but I overthink by default
So maybe I really need this time

I wish I didn't turn you away
I wish I didn't turn you off
I know that it's my mistake
I really wanted us to date
What I did was unintentional
You said "we're good anyway" (Anyway)
"It's a decision that you chose to make"
Now I'm forced to heal all alone, yeah, yeah (All alone) (On my own)

When you I first met you, you were a figure of my imagination
Manifested you through fascination and
You appeared out of nowhere, uh
Look at my power (My power)
Look at my mind (My mind)
Getting so many signs I lost track of time
But you're not here (Not here)
Wanted to stay in our bubble, it's not fair, yeah (It's not fair)

It wasn't long ago when I first met you (When I first met you)
It wasn't long ago when I laid my eyes on you (Eyes on you)
On our first date, had a share of fries
We went back to your place, gave you massages (Yeah)
Touching all over your body, so responsive (So responsive)

Damn, where the time go?
You say you need space, I'll give you all the time zones
It's gon be hard for a moment baby, yeah, I know
I gotta work on myself because it's pivotal
I wanna see you in person, fuck a digital (Fuck FaceTime)
Who else got me seeing shit before I leave your apartment?
Comfortable with you farting
I want all of your heart and, like

I don't really wanna start over (Start over)
I don't wanna really be here (Be here)
But if reality is not crying on your shoulder
Then how do I move on from there?
Can't afford to make decisions that'll cost me (I can't)
Don't wanna linger on things I can't control (I can't)
I need some space, I got some goals (I got)
Don't wanna be in a loop stuck saying

I wish I didn't turn you away (Yeah, yeah)
I wish I didn't turn you off (Yeah, yeah)
I know that it's my mistake (I know that it's my mistake
I really wanted us to date (I really wanted us to date)
What I did was unintentional
You said "we're good anyway"
"It's a decision that you chose to make"
Now I'm forced to heal all alone, yeah, yeah (All alone) (On my own)

It's not your fault
It became apparent on its own
We're both grown with issues to be solved
Now I'm forced to heal all alone
On my own