Reflection

Yeah
It's so hard to find out
Ay
Let's go back to a time

Where I didn't have shit
Dollars for a stick
No roof to call mine
No hand to extend

Yeah
Let's go back to a time
Where I didn't have shit
Dollars for a stick
Money on my mind
But I couldn't grasp it
Yeah

I'd get up early for school
And hit my bong before my mom
Wake up, remember all them early days
Seeing where the night take us
looking for trouble In any shape or form it might take up signs are so subtle
Was blind to it like my eyes taped up
No time for rebuttal They saying some we don't like blaze em
if it wasn't drinks or drugs
Then we didn't want to taste it
Yeah, I had plenty dreams
But I felt too trapped to chase them
Then I had big city dreams
Guessing that I finally made it

Looking for the future
But it's just too hard to see
Grow up in the L
Role models, turn to fiends
Grow up in the L
And them Skittles turn to beans
Grow up in the L
And them Smarties turn to trees
Yeah, we smoking

That's all I wanted
Cause it helped me cope with
All of that shit I went through
When I was feeling hopeless
I was down at my worst
And they ain't even notice
Heart runs hot when its warm
So I keep it frozen
I never liked feeling
I didn't need emotion
Young and growin through commotion
All I did was wrote shit
Drinks, blunts, and lean
I was a chemist and that was the potion
Often got what I need for free
Because I always stole it
See my mom endure abuse
So we can have a home and
Decent clothes to wear
And food up on the stove in
Looking back
I just wonder if she got the notion
Youngin couldn't help
When it got older
Then I got in motion
Pinching out his stash
Cause I feel like he owed me
Turn my head to the world
Cause I feel like it hoed me
Watch it crumble
Cause I know that all the trust eroded
Pistol in my hand
But I'm just glad
Because I never folded

It's so hard to find out
Let's go back to a time
Where I didn't have shit
Dollars for a stick
No roof to call mine
No hand to extend

Let's go back to a time
Where I didn't have shit
Dollars for a stick
Money on my mind
But I couldn't grasp it
Ay
Look at me now
My hands extended
Like it's four of them hoes
I ain't make a whole lot
But it's more than I was
I'm still taking more shots
But it's just not in the club
Helping everyone around me
But neglecting myself
Can't wait till I achieve
What I expect of myself
I can't lie now I feel like my life
A race to the wealth
I just stop and take a picture
Of this fiery hell
Before I leave so I don't look back
And return to the depths
Over years
I done learned to keep
The words that I said
And what I said aloud
Ain't often words in my head
I won't be satisfied
If I'm still worse than the best
And I don't know
If I deserve it
So I'm working instead
How you born in the burbs
And you yearning for less
Cause I just made it
Out the gump
I'm finally getting some rest
Now I'm waking up
For breakfast
My wife feeding me eggs
I see my kids across the table
Feel immediately blessed
I'm trying not to think
About my problems and stress
Only care about opinions
Of who earned my respect
I'ma keep on waking up
Cause I need all the checks
And it takes time for responses
When I need to reflect