(I didn't come here for) Shakespeare

It's not that I found it boring
She woke me up, I was snoring
We caused a scene in the stalls 2F 2G

It's not that I didn't get it
I fell asleep, I regret it
Maybe our love was to be or not to be

You see my girlfriend is an English Lit Major
She's so devoted that she uses a pager
And she's a zealot when it comes down to things Shakespearean

Not much of one for the writer
I wanna love her not fight her
There must be something that I can do to please

All the things that I would have to put right again
Were by mighty sword or by mighty pen
So I lay down both my arms and turned a page

I read the Tragedy of Cymbeline
A Winter's Tale, Midsummer Night's Dream
I read about the Merry Wives
And of Julius Caesar's knives
You know I studied long and I studied hard
Studied every single word by the Bard
But when she held me close and tight
And told me everything was right
When she said 'Baby
I didn't come here for Shakespeare - I came here for you'

I really thought we were over
We should be rolling in clover
I had lay out my heart upon my sleeve

So I swallowed all my pride and I geekened
Every day and every night and all weekend
Until I made my way through all of the works from A to Z

I read the Tragedy of Cymbeline
A Winter's Tale, Midsummer Night's Dream
I read about the Merry Wives
And of Julius Caesar's knives
You know I studied long and I studied hard
Studied every single word by the Bard
But when she held me close and tight
And told me everything was right
When she said 'Baby
I didn't come here for Shakespeare - I came here for you'

I read Measure for Measure and As You Like It
(It) was going well and I'm through Twelfth Night

I read The Tempest and Love's Labour's Lost
Was the pound of flesh really worth the cost

There's the one that's known as The Scottish Play
Is it really cursed like the actors say?

Then there's Proteus and there's Valentine
Two gentlemen who waste my time

When I read The Taming Of The Shrew
Katherina seemed a lot like you

There were parts of Lear that I did not get
Oh but Romeo and that Juliet

I read the one about the Denmark Prince
And I've tried not to think about it since

I covered all the kings that rise and fall
But it was Much Ado 'bout Nothing at all

Cos when she opened up her door
She nearly knocked me to the floor

And then she looked into my eyes
And wrapped her legs around my thighs

And then she held me close and tight
And showed me everything was right

When she said 'Baby
I didn't come here for Shakespeare - I came here for you'

All's well that ends well
All's well that ends well
All's well that ends well
All's well that ends well
All's well that ends well
All's well that ends well
All's well that ends well