Auntie Diaries

Heart plays in ways the mind can't figure out
Heart plays in ways the mind can't
Heart plays in ways the mind can't figure out
This is how we conceptualize human beings

My auntie is a man now, I think I'm old enough to understand now
Drinkin' Paul Masson with her hat turned backwards
Motorola pager, off-white Guess jacket
Blue Air Max's, gold chains, and curl kits

'93 Nissan wax job, the earliest, big social, big personality, vocal
Played the underground verbatim and stayed local
My auntie is a man now
I watch him and his girl hold their hands down

Tip of the avenues under street lights made his
Thinkin', "I want me a bad bitch when I get big"
They hug on the corner like California King
Cold hand all up her skirt, cars whistlin' down the road

See, my auntie is a man now, slight bravado
Scratchin' the likes from lotto, hopin' that she pull up tomorrow
So I can hang out in the front seat
Six-by-nines keepin' the music up under me

My auntie is a man now
Asked my mama why my uncles don't like him that much
And at the parties why they always wanna fight him that much
She said, "Ain't no tellin'
Niggas always been jealous because he had more women
More money and more attention made more envy
Callin' him anything but broke was less offendin'"

My auntie is a man now, I think I'm old enough to understand now
Drinkin' Paul Masson with her hat turned backwards
Back when it was comedic relief to say, "Faggot"
"Faggot, faggot, faggot", we ain't know no better

Elementary kids with no filter, however
My auntie became a man and I took pride in it
She wasn't gay, she ate pussy, and that was the difference
That's what I told my friends in second grade

She pickin' me up from school, they stare at her in the face
They couldn't comprehend what I grew accustomed
We pull off bumpin' Quik like it was nothin'
My auntie is a man now, what a relationship

I grew up fast, I needed no one to babysit
He gave me some cash, then gave me some game
Cherry freshener on the dash, I never complained
She even cut my hair at the pad, was lovin' my fade

The first person I seen write a rap, that's when my life had changed
House full of demo, smoke stuck on the window
Cameras on the microphone, all women and men know
My auntie was a man now, we cool wit' it
The history had trickled down and made us ign'ant
My favorite cousin said he's returnin' the favor
And followin' my auntie with the same behavior

Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
He's more confident to live his plan now (the world's gonna bring you down)
But the family in disbelief this time
Convincin' themselves, "He ain't livin' discreet, he's fine" (world's gonna bring you down)

They said they never seen it in him, but I seen it
The Barbie dolls played off reflection of Venus (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)
He built a wall so tall you couldn't climb over
He didn't laugh as hard when the kids start jokin' (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

"Faggot, faggot, faggot", we ain't know no better
Middle school kids with no filter, however
I had to be very mindful of my good cousin
I knew exactly who he was, but I still loved him

Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
I mean he's really Mary-Ann, even took things further
Changed his gender before Bruce Jenner was certain
Livin' his truth even if it meant see a surgeon

We didn't talk for a while, he seemed more distant
Wasn't comfortable around me, everything was offensive
But I recall we both had a sick sense of humor
Made raw, but time changes all

Demetrius is Mary-Ann now, remember church, Easter Sunday?
I sat in the pew, you had stronger faith
More spiritual when these dudes were livin' life straight
Which I found ironic 'cause the pastor didn't see him the same

He said my cousin was goin' through some things
He promised the world we livin' in was an act on abomination
And Demetrius was to blame
I knew you was conflicted by the feelings of preacher man

Wonderin' if God still call you a decent man
Still, you found the courage to be subservient just to anoint
Until he singled you out to prove his point, sayin'
"Demetrius is Mary-Ann now, church, his auntie is a man now", it hurt

You the most 'cause your belief was close to his words
Forcin' me to stand now
I said, "Mr. Preacherman, should we love thy neighbor?
The laws of the land or the heart, what's greater?

I recognize the study she was taught since birth
But that don't justify the feelings that my cousin preserved"
The buildin' was thinkin' out loud, bad angel
That's when you looked at me and smiled, said, "Thank you"

The day I chose humanity over religion
The family got closer, it was all forgiven
I said them F-bombs, I ain't know any better
Mistakenly, I ain't think that you'd know any different

See, I was taught words was nothin' more than a sound
If ever they was pronounced without any intentions
The very second, you challenged the shit I was kickin'
Reminded me about a show I did out the city

That time I brung a fan on stage to rap
But disapproved the word that she couldn't say with me
You said, "Kendrick, ain't no room for contradiction
To truly understand love, switch position
"Faggot, faggot, faggot", we can say it together
But only if you let a white girl say "Nigga"