Introduction

Yo what up, my name is Postmodern Picard
When I play tabletop, my class is bard
I'm a male, so milkshakes bring me to the yard
I didn't realize writing bars was this hard
Sipping on some malbec, feeling like a Dalek
Words so crossed like questions to Alex Trebek
Her titties make the pain go away, that's a perky set
I was so perplexed, it was like they're heaven sent
I had no choice but pull a Shia Lebouf and applaud
My quest is tribal and I'm here to maraud!
Fine weed and veal, that's how I raise the steaks
This song will probably need about 100 takes
If only I had a director, like Jonathan Frakes
Yeah, I watch next gen when I need to lift my mood
Bitch, I'm feeling hangry, get me some food
Wait, that was rude, I didn't mean to intrude

Pm-P, yeah that's my name
And one day i hope to claim
All the fame and the wealth
So toast to your fine health
Pm-P, yeah that's my name
And one day i hope to claim
All the fame and the wealth
So toast to your fine health

Okay here we go, round two
I'll tell you what I'm about to do
Spit some bars for a while, tell you about myself
Lets start with i never had an elf on a shelf
But i had the rest of the Christmas stuff
My house was merry and was full of fluff
And when i say fluff i mean love
Cause family made me feel like i was above
The clouds, i was happy as a kid
And i don't kid, but i struggled with depression
I got sad often for no reason, flipped my lid
Once or twice, what's that old expression?
Bull in a China shop, that's what i was called
To this day, the phrase makes me appalled
But I've gotten better over the years
It's like my brain wouldn't cohere

Pm-P, yeah that's my name
And one day i hope to claim
All the fame and the wealth
So toast to your fine health
Pm-P, yeah that's my name
And one day i hope to claim
All the fame and the wealth
So toast to your fine health

What else can I say about myself to you?
What can I do? you know i rap and I act too
I make beats all day and sleep all night
Except i have insomnia so it's a fight
To get sleep on the regular, Holmes
I feel like a garden gnome standing in chrome
I got a fresh pair of kicks, no brogues
They have VHS on them, no lie
And i know how to tie a full Windsor tie
I make sure not to wear one while eating pie
That's a recipe for disaster, see what i did there?
My word play is prolific, don't try to compare
I'll hit you harder than fucking ric flair
Is it me or is there something in the air?
Oh it's your disappointment creeping out
And i know you feel like you're inside out
Like the movie, but it's okay, just sway
To the beat and hear me say
I'm not braggadocious but i wanna say
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
It's the mostest word of the day

Pm-P, yeah that's my name
And one day i hope to claim
All the fame and the wealth
So toast to your fine health
Pm-P, yeah that's my name
And one day i hope to claim
All the fame and the wealth
So toast to your fine health

Cheers