Supermarket Sweep

When I see a thief, I just creep, creep, creep
I don't speak, speak, speak
I just sweep, sweep, sweep
They say the cost of living's getting
Steep, steep, steep
It's not deep, deep, deep
You're just cheap, cheap, cheap

When I see a thief, I just creep, creep, creep
I don't speak, speak, speak
I just sweep, sweep, sweep
They say the cost of living's getting
Steep, steep, steep
It's not deep, deep, deep
You're just cheap

I'm on the long shift, looking out for a looter
Protect the food chain, catch a consumer
Drop the hoo hah it's not a scandalous rumour
It's on CCTV you can't fight the accuser
Cough it up or get a Heimlich manoeuvre
I'll wipe off the saliva and put the wine bottle back in the cooler
Yeah, you better pay if you're using them bags
I've got this place on lock like security tags

It's not a game, you're no match
I'm not blowing a whistle
I think I remember this rogue from Lidl
No hoods, that's official
Look buddy, I can see the Monster
Sticking out the back of your head like Quirrel
Peeling off stickers trying to
Stuff a big pack of nuts in your knickers
Are you a man or a squirrel?
You even got 'em in your cheeks?
I don't wanna see them
My manager said
"Don't just stand there like a prick, retrieve them"

This is a customer announcement
Can the lady on aisle four please be advised
I can literally see everything you're doing right now
Thank you!

When I see a thief, I just creep, creep, creep
I don't speak, speak, speak
I just sweep, sweep, sweep
They say the cost of living's getting
Steep, steep, steep
It's not deep, deep, deep
You're just cheap, cheap, cheap

When I see a thief, I just creep, creep, creep
I don't speak, speak, speak
I just sweep, sweep, sweep
They say the cost of living's getting
Steep, steep, steep
It's not deep, deep, deep
You're just cheap

Now, I don't know this guy
But I know he's not himself
So I creep down aisles, I've got stealth
I'm Columbo, clocking two dwarves under one coat
The top keeps watch while
The bottom clears the bottom shelf
Came for free samples but sleeps over
It's an Airbnb at an esteemed green grocer
Thief meets owner, not another freeloader
Joker, risked it for a biscuit and a cream soda

One time, I saw this guy
On a reverse shopping spree
Rebel with a cause against false economy
Everything he touched was the worst quality
Trying to swerve honesty
Learn the returns policy
They might set off the alarm and flee
Stair flapping, air tapping
Self service card machines
A shoddy plan
Man will get body slammed
Feds are on the way
I dashed the footage from my body cam

This is a customer announcement
If you see something that doesn't look right
Please let customer service know
See it, say it, sorted!

When I see a thief, I just creep, creep, creep
I don't speak, speak, speak
I just sweep, sweep, sweep
They say the cost of living's getting
Steep, steep, steep
It's not deep, deep, deep
You're just cheap, cheap, cheap

When I see a thief, I just creep, creep, creep
I don't speak, speak, speak
I just sweep, sweep, sweep
They say the cost of living's getting
Steep, steep, steep
It's not deep, deep, deep
You're just cheap



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